This & That

I have a few different blog posts started but haven't had the time to really sit and write out all my thoughts.  So, I thought I'd give a quick picture post showing some of life recently.

While the kids were on vacation we did a quick evening trip into Boston.  They had a display of several giant nutcrackers.  They were all different types of animals.  Our youngest has been obsessed with nutcrackers lately so this was especially fun for her.  We also finally made it to Lakon Patisserie a place our other daughter has been asking to go for about a year. 

 

We finally got some snow!  Along with the snow came very cold, below zero, temperatures.  Kitty was having none of it and parked himself in front of the under cabinet heat vent. 

I've also been doing some crocheting.  This hat pattern was written differently than other patterns I've used so it took me awhile to figure it out...and I pulled out most of it about 4 times. But I'm thankful that I figured it out.  I love the cable pattern and one of my girls has already asked for one of her own.  My current work in progress is an oval mat for the table that I'll post a picture of later.  

Lastly, I shared in another post about my Word for 2025 being rest.  While thinking about this I was trying to come up with a phrase to help me remember to keep my focus on Jesus and truly resting in Him.  Below is the phrase God gave me.  I had fun making this little graphic from an adobe template.  Another simple way to be creative.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to you all!  As with the start of any new year I'm pondering what I want to focus on this year.   I already have a reading plan for reading through the Bible in 2025 and I already have a "word" for  the year.  I'm hoping to blog about both of these soon. 

One goal that I always seem to have is to blog more often.  I go through spurts of blogging regularly and then get busy and it falls to the side for awhile.  I've realized that, while I love blogging, it's just something that for now will stay a bit sporadic.  Life is still very busy with home,  four kiddos and their activities, along with school and church volunteering responsibilities.  I've never had a large readership; which for the most part I'm okay with. I would love to grow this blog into something to really bless others; I'm just never quite sure what that would look like.  I mostly blog to keep track of things God is teaching me; I love to teach so it's encouraging when God uses those things in the lives of others as well. 

I've debated starting another blog.  As some may recall, a few years ago this blog was flagged as "inappropriate" on Facebook by someone I had as a connection (still don't know who and it really doesn't matter).  There is no appeals process so since that time it has been blocked from being shared on any Meta platform (Instagram, Facebook, etc.).  I don't have a clear direction of turning this into something bigger so I'll just keep it as is for now.  

I'd love to hear suggestions of what you enjoy reading for content or what you would enjoy seeing more of here in this little spot on the web.  

So, those are my rambling thoughts on this first day of a new year.  I am excited to see how God will guide this year.

Encouragement for Public Schooling Mamas

The subject of public schooling has been on my mind for awhile. I often get so disheartened when I see Christians blasting other Christians as bad parents who don't really care about their children's faith, simply because their kids go to a public school.  I also see a lot of fear mongering and just plain false information posted.  For example, before we sent our kids to public school I was told that they would never hear the national anthem, say the pledge or learn anything about religion.  These are all false!  Not only do they say the pledge and hear the anthem daily, they also have entire units dedicated to learning about world religions.   Does public schooling bring certain challenges, yes!  But I want to give encouragement that God does lead some Christian families to public school their children, and in that choice there are also many, many blessings.

Our kids did not always attend public school.  For several years they all attended a local private school.  However, over a couple of years God made it very clear that it was His plan for our kids to move to the local public schools.  I want to share a few things I've learned and some encouragement for others who God has lead to this path. 

10 lessons I've learned from being a public schooling mama:

1) God is doing amazing things! - Students are hungry for faith. They are asking questions of other students.  Believing students are sharing their faith; and through this God is bringing kids to faith in Him. My kids are so excited to see other believers at school!  My daughter recently had a birthday party, she invited 8 friends from both church and school...all the girls knew each other as some attend our church and her school and some only the school.  These connections are so important and encouraging.  There are SO many things God has done over these years.  Many are not my story to tell here but if you see me in person I'd love to share some of them.

2) We are called to be salt and light.  If there are dark places we are called to shine God's love and truth into those dark places.  We cannot shine into those places if we are all huddled in one corner.

3) Get involved!  - A couple years ago I took one of our daughters to a school event; as I stood there watching her run around with her friends I realized that I didn't know anyone.  It was a very humbling moment. I decided to get involved with the PTO; it has been such a blessing (and a huge step out of my comfort zone) to meet the kids, teachers, admins and other parents.  I love volunteering, interacting with the kids and getting to know those that work in the school.  

4) Don't compare! - This is a hard one for me because as mamas we are always wondering if we're doing enough, making the right choices.  Over the years I have had doubts if we made the right choice, I'm thankful for my husband who reminds me how clearly God made it that this was His desire for our kids; and to not look back with "rose-tinted" glasses.  When I start to compare (in many areas) my husband always says "This is what works best for our family; who cares what other people think." 

5) God is always in control!  - We are not called to live in fear!  Do we want to protect our kids? Absolutely!  But if our motivation is to only protect our kids we have failed them.  We are called to be in the world but not of the world.  The truth is we can't protect them from everything; and often God uses the hard things to help them grow in their faith...so it can actually be a disservice to try and keep them from ever facing hard things. 

6) Prayer is key! - I remember when I first had my kids; I prayed that they would feel comfortable talking to me about anything.  There have been times that I would jokingly say to my husband "what did I ask for?" of course I didn't mean it; but it's hard to hear your kid's struggles when you can't just "fix" it for them.  God has shown me over and over again how prayer is key.  I recently saw a saying "I can't...but I know a Guy".  I love this!  There's SO much I can't do or know, but I can always take it to the One who does know, who can do abundantly more than I could ever ask or think. 

7) Communication is key!  - This is both with your kids and with the school.  We have always encouraged our kids to talk with us about anything, to question things but always be respectful when doing so, and to advocate for themselves. If they have a school issue, we encourage them to go to their teacher or guidance counselor.  If we need to step in, we will.  There have only been a couple of times when I've had to communicate with administration and both times they were very quick to resolve the situation and we still have a very positive rapport with them.  Also, learn to embrace discussing things that, at first, might be uncomfortable.  God's Word does not shy away from teaching about hard things and neither should we.

8) Salvation is by grace not their works or yours!  - No schooling choice is a guarantee of strong Christian children neither does a schooling choice doom them to a faithless life.  As parents we pray, we disciple, we try and do our best to raise our kids in the Truth; but they are humans and have free-will.  I have seen kids from every schooling choice walk away from God and I have seen kids from every schooling choice dig deep in their faith and do amazing things for God.  This does NOT mean we don't do our best to raise them in God's Truth but we must not give into a prideful attitude thinking it's all up to us; or our way of schooling is the only "right" way.

9) God does not stop at the school doors!  - This is something I remind my kids all the time.  God is always with them.  Prayer is always available.  The Holy Spirit in them is always with them!  I have a friend who says "when our kids become believers they don't get a "junior" Holy Spirit; they receive the full power of the Holy Spirit".  Now, yes, there is a difference in their human maturity but the Holy Spirit is not limited by that. 

10) Knowledge can lead to greater confidence in God and greater compassion for others.  - It is important for our kids to know what the world believes.  Truth is stronger than lies because God is greater than the devil.  One of our kids came home and was frustrated about a lesson on evolution and how it was being taught as fact.  One of our high school kids came home frustrated about a lesson on abortion and how it didn't cover a lot of facts about the risks of abortion.  In both cases we sat down and discussed how that just because someone says something, you don't have to agree or believe it.  BUT, it's so important to know the thinking behind these issues because you can have more productive discussions about issues.  To know what the arguments are and to dig into why we believe differently, why God instructs us to live certain ways can strengthen our own faith and help us to not be so reactionary and combative.  It can lead us to reach out in compassion, with greater understanding.  We tend to fear the unknown, things that are different or that we don't fully understand, knowledge helps battle these tendencies.  Instead of seeing people as "others" we can, instead, see them as those that God loves and wants to come to repentance and belief. 

BONUS: Don't be afraid to change direction if God so directs.  We have always tried to have an attitude of "this is where God has us now".  No one knows the future, we certainly never planned to public school our kids when we were first having kids; but this is where God has lead.  God may change that path again, we take it one year at a time.  

One final thought. The other day I was having a discussion with one of our kids about why people voted certain ways.  As I was explaining different issues and the views on both sides of those issues, suddenly, my kiddo said "oh, so people really are just looking for someone to give them hope."  Yes, exactly!  Our world is so hungry for hope.  Let's be sure to be out there living in the world but showing them that we are not of the world.  Not living our lives in fear of those different than us or being afraid that God's Truth isn't strong enough to battle the devil's lies.  We have a hope and peace that they too can have.

If you are following God's path for your family...then you are doing awesome Mama!  Keep praying, keep trusting and when you see those posts disparaging us for public schooling our kids...pray for the one who posted it, and then go hug your kiddos and give a high five to their friends!

My 10 Tips For Road Trips For Larger Families

We love to travel!  When we had kids that did not change; however, how we travel did change.  We love to hike, so we invested in carriers for when the kids were babies.  We love to bike, so we invested in bike seats and a bike trailer until the kids could all ride bikes on their own.  Just because you have a larger family does not mean that you have to give up doing what you love; it just may look different for a bit.

We have always done road trips with our kids.  From the time they were infants we have traveled.  One of our daughters was 3 weeks old when she did her first road trip (about 9 hours to visit family).  Over the years we have done countless 17+ hour trips to visit family.  We have flown a few times with them but mostly have driven.  There are many ways to travel with kids and each family is unique.  We tend to be spontaneous and not over-plan.  The tips I'm sharing are pretty general but are things we've found to be helpful.

 In no particular order; here are my top 10:

Set Expectations:

We have kids who tend to be more introverted so "personal space" is a priority.  We have another child who likes to know all the details of a plan and has a harder time with unexpected changes.  While we didn't have a complete itinerary we did explain that we would be stopping somewhere each night and that they would all have to share beds.  We also set the themes of "go with the flow" and "for the next two weeks there is no such thing as 'personal space' ".  Knowing these things ahead of time helped set the tone. We also explained that once we got to our rental unit there would be more room for some time alone and less kids would have to share a bed.  

Be Flexible:

Being flexible made this trip, probably, one of the most fun trips we've taken.  At one point we had our oldest girl just googling what was on the road we were currently on and then we decided if/where we wanted to stop.  The kids loved getting to help decide.  Hotels were booked a few hours before we were set to arrive at our stop for the night. 

Prioritize hotels with free breakfast:

Eating out is expensive!  Feeding a family of 8 (4 of those kiddos being teen or adults) is a lot.  Finding hotels that included breakfast took away any added cost/hassle each morning.  Since I don't typically eat breakfast everyone would get ready, head down to breakfast and I would have that time to get myself ready.  It worked wonderfully! 

Check if membership is cheaper (factor in if you'll use reciprocity):

This is something we have done since the kids were little.  We used to buy a family museum membership each year; when we would go to visit family we would check which museums had reciprocity.  The program has changed a bit, with many museums only giving a 50% discount but many still do give free admission.  This trip we decided to stop at the Columbus Zoo; it was cheaper for us to buy the family membership than to pay for day tickets.  Now that we have that membership we can go to museums closer to home for free for the year; using the museum reciprocity.  

Using the reciprocity program over the years for museums and zoos has allowed us to take our kids to many places that otherwise would have been out of our budget. 

For longer stays have a kitchen & cook:

This tip is similar to the breakfast one.  Eating out is expensive!  Due to the size of our family we usually have to stay in rental properties  (we do have a timeshare but I do NOT recommend those!  a decision made when we were younger that, while it has been useful over the years, is not one we would repeat; especially now that short term rentals are so prevalent.)  

Having a kitchen is a huge bonus.  My hubby and I enjoy cooking together; and while usually I handle the cooking when home; while on vacation it's fun to have more time to cook together.  We typically do some simpler, fun recipes with ingredients that can be used for multiple meals.  On this trip, the grocery bill was higher than our normal grocery bill but it was still much less than if we had eaten out every night.

Truck stops:

We have found that truck stops are generally a better choice than the smaller gas stations.  We found that the gas is often cheaper, the bathrooms cleaner and their snack choices are better. This trip we grabbed some meal boxes which included hummus, veggies and pita breads.  The truck stops also often have pre-made sandwiches, etc.  Which are less than buying a full meal but more nutritious than chips, candy, etc that the smaller stores typically have available.

Everyone tries to go at every bathroom stop:

Okay, so this tip is one that we learned quickly when the kids were little.  We would ask who needed to use the restroom, a couple of them would go and then we'd get a bit down the road and suddenly someone else had to go.  So, now every time we make a bathroom stop; everyone has to try.   Live and learn. :)

Bring comfort items:

It can be tempting to try and minimize packing but allowing the kids to bring a small bag with a few "comfort" items, such as a blanket, stuffed animal, etc.  really makes life easier.  We are fortunate that all of our kids will sleep in the car, having that special blanket helps.  Also, each of them having a smaller bag of activities/items that they keep at their feet minimizes having to get into the back for everything.

Pack cooler/snacks:

Having a cooler and snack bag helps minimize stops and money spent.  We typically pack crackers, hummus, veggies, granola bars, dried fruits/trail mix, cheese sticks, etc and drinks such as water, seltzer, cold coffee and sometimes we'll bring yogurt drinks.

It's their vacation too; let kids have some say:

Trips with the kids look very different from trips without kids...and that is great!  We have been to Disney with kids and without kids; same place but the experiences were very different.  While we do plan most of the trip we also fully recognize that this is their vacation as well. We want them to have fun and have a say in what we do too.  For example, we took a side trip to Niagara Falls because one kid wanted to use their passport for the first time and a couple other kids have wanted to see the falls for a few years now.  Another, very simple example from this trip.  We mentioned how that once we got to the rental unit two of the girls would have to share a bed, while one of them could have their own bed (two double beds in the room they would share).  All three of them did not like this idea; so our youngest asked if we could bring one of our twin air mattresses for her.  The mattress didn't take up much space in the car and she was more than happy to use it for the week to have her own bed.  It was a minor thing but made all of them happy.  

BONUS TIP:

Credit card points!  We have a credit card that we use for pretty much everything.  We pay it off each month.  This credit card gives us points that we can then use to cover travel expenses, etc.  We have used these points to cover airfare, hotels, uber trips, etc.  We have taken trips where the airfare for all 8 of us was covered by credit card points.  Credit cards can be a wonderful tool when used responsibly!

Have FUN!  

Family Road Trip 2024

 Stats: 

Miles Traveled: 4109.5

Hours driven: 74:37

Countries seen: US & Canada

Number of States seen:  19 (NY, PA, OH, KY, IL, MO, AR, TN, MS, AL, FL, GA, SC, NC, VA, WV, MD, CT, MA)

Number of States stayed in: 6 (PA, KY, MO, MS, FL, SC)

The short summary is we had a wonderful time together as a family and praise God for safe travels and many amazing moments.

We have never done a two week vacation with our kids before.  This trip was amazing; so many miles traveled, states seen, memories made and fun facts learned.  I want to get it all recorded while it is fresh in my mind.  For those, like me, who love to read travel stories; I hope you enjoy this overview of our trip! 

Day 1: Home to Erie, PA

We headed out earlyish morning.  The oldest two knew that we were stopping in Niagara falls for a few hours but the other kids had no idea.  A couple of the kids have been asking, for a few years, to see the falls.  We recently got them all passports so we thought it would be a fun surprise.  As we were crossing the bridge into Canada we asked "hey, do you guys want to go to Canada?" they said "yes.  Wait!  You mean today?" we then told them that yes, we were currently headed to the border crossing.  It was a one of many funny memories. 

The falls were a great stop; the last time we had been was over 20 years ago so it was nice to experience them with the kids.  Fun fact: More than 44 million gallons of water go over horseshoe falls every minute during "peak flow". 

 After seeing the falls and grabbing dinner we crossed back over the border.  We stopped in Erie, PA for the night.

Day 2: Erie, PA to Shelbyville, KY

One of the beauties of this trip was the flexibility and spontaneity we were able to have.  We had originally planned to stop at the Cincinnati Zoo; however, we realized the timing wasn't going to work. Instead we headed to the Columbus Zoo.  On the way there we noticed that if we got off the highway for a bit we could make a stop at Lake Erie.  We found a cute park to stop at; it was fun to see one of the great lakes and the kids thought it was pretty neat how that it does feel a bit like the ocean because of the water going to the horizon without any trees or land in sight. 

 After stopping at the lake we continued on to the Columbus Zoo.  We were able to spend the afternoon walking the zoo.  We always enjoy going to different zoos and the Columbus zoo did not disappoint.  The highlights were definitely getting to pet and feed the stingrays, the closeup view of the cheetah, seeing a Tasmanian devil and watching the adorable koalas sleeping in their tree.  This little guy was holding his tree just snoozing away.

 We left the zoo at closing and just decided to drive until it got late enough that we wanted to stop.  This put us in Shelbyville, KY for the night.

Day 3: Shelbyville, KY to Poplar Bluff, MO

While we were making it up a bit as we went; we knew that Mammoth Cave was a definite stop.  Since we had the younger kids (and some kiddos who aren't huge fans of caves) we took the basic cave tour. This tour is a little over an hour long.  It was very interesting learning about the history and importance of the cave; and it really is Mammoth.  We only saw a tiny portion. This was one of the rooms we saw.

The other "must stop" was at Buc-ees.  We had never been before and our oldest daughter (who had been once) wanted us to stop.  It was a fun, chaotic experience.  We grabbed some t-shirts for souvenirs and some lunch.  The pulled brisket sandwich was one of the best I've had.  The one we stopped at had this fun artwork on the barn next to the store.

One of the benefits of having some time flexibility, is that we were able to change our route as desired.  When we left Buc-ees my husband suggested we see how many states we could hit without adding too much time to our route (we did have a deadline for college drop off #1).  We figured out that by getting off the highway we could head a bit northwest and hit Illinois and then dip into Missouri before heading on to Arkansas and Tennessee.  

We put our oldest girl in charge of finding interesting things to see along the way.  There was a roadside attraction called Turtle Rock; I would post a picture but we didn't get one.  It was two rocks painted to look like a Turtle and much smaller than we expected.  It was so funny!  

One challenge of not being on the highway was bathroom stops.  The next roadside attraction she found was the Jefferson Davis Monument.  This is an obelisk in a park with a small visitor's center. We used the restrooms and talked a bit about who Jefferson Davis was and some Civil war history.  

Next up was a drive through Cairo, IL. This little town sits at the point where the Mississippi and Ohio rivers merge.  It was very neat to see this point but the town sadly isn't in great shape.  There is still some beautiful architecture and we were curious what had happened as it was clear that at one point it had been a thriving town. It's a sad and fascinating story of how changes in transportation and industry affect a town.  Here is the wikipedia article for those interested. 

We continued on to Poplar Bluff, MO and spent the night there.

Day 4: Poplar Bluff, MO to Tupelo, MS

This day was another day that didn't go as we had "planned".  We originally planned to drop off our oldest daughter at school and then spend the night in town.  We drove to the college and got her settled (a bonus was seeing our niece who is attending the same school!).  We then surprised one of our other daughters with a lunch of fried pies.  We had discovered fried pies on another adults vacation, and our daughter had wanted to try them.  

We realized that we had a long trip the next day and it didn't make sense to stay in town so we said goodbye to our girl and headed further south.  We drove as far as Tupelo, MS and stayed the night there. 

Day 5: Tupelo, MS to Pensacola Beach, FL

The next morning we got up and headed to our week-long destination of Pensacola Beach, FL.  We were all looking forward to reaching the condo and having a "home-base" for a few days.  As we drove we discussed the poverty and health issues that plague Mississippi.  It was another interesting dive into internet research.  For more information on Mississippi's history you can check out it's wikipedia page  

We checked into our rental, did some grocery shopping and settled in for the night.

 

Day 6 - Day 12: Pensacola Beach, FL 

Over the next week we spent a lot of time just relaxing.  Our rental unit was right next to the pool so we were in and out of the pool.  We took many walks down to the beach.  Unfortunately, on our first dip into the beautiful warm waters; one of our daughters was stung by a jellyfish.  We were fortunate that our unit was on the beach; we googled how to treat it and followed the recommendations from the mayo clinic website.  We also got some cream from the pharmacy; it's very common there for jellyfish bites so they have something called "sting kill" that works very well. 

After that experience we mostly stuck to the pool for swimming and the beach for walking.   

Later in the week we went to the Naval Aviation Museum.  This is a free museum and has some great old planes.  We arrived just as a guided tour was starting so we joined in and learned a lot about the planes they have there at the museum.  Since the Museum is on a naval base, and is where the blue angels are stationed, they often host ceremonies.  This atrium is the venue for those.

While we were away a friend came over to our home to feed our cat and koi fish.  We wanted to get a little something for her as a thank you.  While looking up things to do I found a link for the Palafox Market.  It is a cross between a craft fair and a farmer's market with many local artisans and food places each having a booth.  We found some great local honey, local coffee, and some handmade jewelry.  There were a lot of other very fun things; if we had wanted to spend more money!  One booth in particular was very interesting. It's called the Graffiti Bridge and they have some very fun jewelry.

Day 13: Pensacola Beach, FL to Sumter, SC

As much as we wanted to stay in Florida; alas, vacation had to end.  Once again we changed up our original plans.  I have always wanted to visit Savannah, GA; so my hubby suggested that rather than heading north right away, that we head east and then north; making a quick stop in Savannah.  We ended up only having about a half hour there but it was a great place to stop, stretch our legs and use the restroom.  Forsythe Park was beautiful and the houses surrounding the park have some gorgeous architecture. 

After our break in Savannah we continued on to South Carolina and spent the night with family.

Day 14: Sumter, SC to Home

We had a lovely visit with some family members that we only see once or twice a year.  It was a great time of fellowship!  The next morning we were discussing our route home; we mentioned that we really didn't want to go up interstate 95.  The suggestion to go route 77 was made so we headed that direction.  Before getting to the interstate we drove through some beautiful areas of South Carolina.  One town was Camden, SC.  Camden is the steeplechase "capitol" of the U.S.  It was the site of revolutionary war battles and also hosts the Carolina Cup.  It's a pretty little town and was fun to drive through.  

Along the way we enjoyed the farmland vistas of Western Virginia, the state of West Virginia, Western Maryland and Western Pennsylvania; all while reading about the industries in those areas.  The history of mining and that the top industries are food processing and manufacturing.

We drove through the night and made it home at 3am in the morning.  The following day the kids here started school.  So, it has been a whirlwind since we got home but we are so thankful we were able to make this trip. 

Jumping into June...finally!!

 I noticed tonight that it has been over a month since I have blogged.  I have thought about it several times but life has been completely crazy (in both good & bad ways) so I haven't had time to sit and blog.  

From spring band concerts, to fun run fundraisers, to field days, 8th grade graduations, graduation parties, celebrating the last day of school with friends, attending celebrations of life, dealing with sick kiddos and family members and just life in general.  God has been faithful through it all this past month.  

We are enjoying having the older two at home and praising God for summer jobs for them.  We have had fun hosting the youth group and I'm looking forward to the three ladies meetings this summer.  We have also been working to reclaim an overgrown back patio area and install some stone steps going down to the fire pit area.  The landscaping was put in many years ago and is just too overgrown now.  

Here are a few pictures of the fun we've been having.

Here's to a great rest of June and a wonderful summer!  ...and hopefully more blogging!

Seasons of Marriage: Best Advice I have been given/learned over the years.

Awhile ago I wrote a post titled Seasons of Parenting: Best advice I have been given since then I've had some notes on marriage jotted down on my phone so I thought I'd share them. I'm certainly no marriage expert and have days when I fail miserably; I'm thankful for the grace extended to me by both God and my husband.  In a world where emotion and self are often elevated to the highest priority let's remember the beauty of dying to self as we choose to rely on God, His wisdom and truth, and rejoice in the beauty of marriage!

10 Tips for Building into your Marriage:

1) Pray for your husband!  - You are uniquely positioned to pray for your husband.  Not only to pray for challenges he might face but also to express your gratitude for him and pray blessing over him.  Praying for your husband refocuses your mind on the unique person who you have been joined to by God.  (side note: I highly recommend the book The Power of A Praying Wife) (Philippians 1:3-6)

2) Remember you are NOT the Holy Spirit! - This truth is one I heard more recently and has really shaped how I pray.  We need to leave everything in God's hands.  We were never meant to act as the Holy Spirit to our spouses...we can pray for them, support them, and love them dearly but we can't and should never try, to control them or change them.  We are responsible to live before God faithfully and commit our husbands & marriage to Him and His will.  (John 1:20, 1 Peter 3:1)

3) Don't gossip about your husband! - It is so common today to see wives posting all sorts of things about their husbands on social media.  This is so harmful!  If you are in a dire situation in your marriage and need counsel then yes, absolutely find a trusted, godly confidant to share and get counsel.  Blasting your husband and airing all on social media tears down your husband and your household.  If you have children it also breeds disrespect.  (Proverbs 14:1, Ephesians 5:33, Proverbs 11:13)

4) Communicate clearly, Ask Questions! - I think this is one that is a lifelong learning process.  Communication can be hard in any situation!  It can be so easy to misunderstand or be misunderstood; give your husband the benefit of the doubt.  Be clear, be direct, don't hint.  Find the right time to speak.  Be respectful of both privacy (don't air everything in front of your kids) and timing (is your spouse tired, overwhelmed); especially with hard conversations. (Ephesians 4:29, also see how Esther handled communication in Esther chapters 5 & 7)

5) Get out alone together/ plan dates! - This will definitely look different at different stages of marriage but it's SO important to have time out without the kids.  Time to talk, to do activities you enjoyed before kids.  Even if you have to stay at home there are numerous ways to just set aside time to prioritize each other.  Your kids will grow up and move away; remember to prioritize your marriage! (Romans 12:9-10)

6) Remember your vows were before God...commit to stay faithful to Him! - Marriage is a holy covenant made before God.  Just as in any relationship there will be mountaintop moments and there will be times of conflict.  Your number one priority in your marriage; as in every area of life, should be to stay faithful to God.  He will lead you through any circumstance just keep your eyes on Him! (Hebrews 10:23)

7) Love is a choice & commitment; not just a feeling! - So often we hear "I just didn't love him anymore", "I just wasn't feeling it anymore", "I need to go find my happiness."  as justification for women leaving their marriages.  As I often tell my kids "feelings are real but it does not mean they are true!" Feelings come and go; our hearts can be deceitful...we must rely on God for He is greater than our hearts. (Jeremiah 17:9, 1 John 3:20)

8) Your husband is NOT your enemy! - This one goes with the previous point.  Our feelings can be deceitful and the devil loves to breed conflict within our marriages.  After all, marriage is the closest earthly picture we have of Christ and His great love for the church.  The devil wants to destroy that!  We need to remember that our enemy is always prowling and that our enemy is not flesh & blood/ a person. (1 Peter 5:8, Ephesians 6:12)

9) Have fun! Be Silly! - Do you remember when you first started dating your husband?  How you had fun, talked for hours, laughed, were spontaneous and did silly things?  Keep doing that!  Yes, it will change a bit over time and seasons of life but keep having fun!  Don't let the cares of this world steal your joy.  We can rejoice every day because God has made that day!  If marriage is the closest earthly picture of our relationship with Christ; then we certainly shouldn't be miserable or joyless!  In John 15:1-12 Jesus tells what it means to abide in Him, to bear fruit for Him.  As we live for Him and abide in Him He brings joy to every aspect of our lives....including our marriages!  

10) Marriage has seasons! - Just like every area of life, marriage has seasons.  Learn from the challenges, enjoy the beauty, and rest in the Sovereignty of God in each season.  (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

Do you have any tips or advice that you have found helpful in marriage?

October already?!

It's hard to believe that October is already here!  I've been meaning to jump back in on the Happy Homemaker Monday posts but just haven't seemed to have the time.  Hopefully, in the next couple weeks I'll be able to do a few before the holidays start up!

The last few weeks have been filled full!  We celebrated another family birthday, had the annual Beach BBQ & Baptism with our church, spent time with family who were visiting from out of state and started all the fall activities up again.  

One of the fall activities we are involved in is the AWANA program at church.  I help out with the 3rd graders and this year our youngest started Sparks (K-2).  She was SO excited to earn her vest and book by saying John 3:16. 

 If you're not familiar with AWANA it's a great kids program that teaches Biblical truths while focusing a lot on Scripture memorization.  The older kids have youth group, PTO for the school has begun and clubs at the high school are also getting back into full swing. So, all that to say, we are good and life is FULL right now. 

One fun thing is that the deer we spotted in our yard have returned a few times now. I was able to get another picture of them yesterday.  There is a shrub along the edge of our yard that they really love to eat; thankfully they do not care for the blueberry bush leaves or lilacs so I'm happy to let them roam and eat the wild shrubbery. 

Oh!  and I also finally started working on my daughters graphgan.  This one is definitely going to be a process but I'm already liking the results from the small amount I've been able to get done.  

One last thing, our oldest girl is away at college (and loving it!); while there she is attending a church in town that only has acappella music in their services.  The song below is one of her favorites and a new-to-me song so I thought I would share.  I love all types of music but don't listen to a lot of acappella music.  I really enjoyed the beautiful harmony of voices.  Enjoy!

Busy, Busy, Busy

 The title sums up our last few weeks. Between senior events for our oldest daughter; such as honors night, prom, graduation, graduation party (where we hosted almost 100 people in our home).  Along, with our youngest daughter's end of year Kingergarten show, some tough issues that have popped up for another one of our kids, continuing renovations, a last minute family trip to D.C. and life in general...we have been busy! While I've been keeping up with reading through the Bible many days I've felt rushed rather than relaxing and truly focusing on my time with God.

This morning, while praying about some things, I was prompted to get back into the new devotional I started titled "Having a Mary Heart In A Martha World".  I read the first chapter a week or so ago and did a couple of the study questions but had not finished all the questions.  God knew I needed this lesson today!

A few quotes from the first chapter that I wrote down are:

"Busyness, by itself, breeds distraction."

"In her eagerness to serve Jesus, she almost missed the opportunity to know Jesus."

"While the world applauds achievement, God desires companionship."

So, today, like Mary, I chose the "better part" and here are a few of the blessings I was given at the feet of Jesus.

One of the final questions was to read Matthew 11:28-30 and circle any key words.  Not only did I circle them I also chose to look up the original Greek used.  I love looking into the original words as it tends to give me a richer understanding of what the passage is saying.  For example, in these verses there are two Greek words used for rest. 

 

After looking up the meanings in Greek I will often rewrite the verse in my notes with the expanded definitions in brackets. This was such an encouragement to me and reminder to keep my focus on Christ, on the things that are eternally useful and to rest in Him!

"Come to me, all who [labor until worn out] and are [loaded down, burdened] and I will give you [refreshment for your soul].  Take my [bar that unites us in work] upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and [lowly in spirit relying on God] and you will find [blessed tranquility of soul].  For my yoke is [good, eternally useful] and my burden is [easy to bear, not burdensome]." 

Life gets busy and it's easy to get distracted from what really matters, thinking we don't have time.  I'd encourage you today to take time with the Savior, you will be refreshed and leave that time with a new focus, peace and thankfulness.

Spring Goals: How it's going so far

 In March I posted a few goals for the spring.  I posted these more as a way to keep myself accountable so in that spirit here is an update on how it's going.

The goals I posted were:

- Keep up with cleaning routines. - I've done this for the most part but with ongoing house renovations everything is a bit of a mess with closets and rooms emptied into other rooms

- Go through toys and games and separate into donate or resale piles. - haven't done this yet

- Research online resale sites or plan for a yard sale once the weather is good. - looked into this a bit; still need to decide the best option 

- Follow Monday through Friday exercise routine. - I completed a 30 day exercise routine today.  I really like it.  I'm starting a 2nd round tomorrow so I've modified it a bit; adding extra reps and a "bonus" goal to help stay motivated.

- Go through my own clothes - haven't done this yet due to other more pressing tasks taking up time.

- Finish crocheting squares for tunic. - worked on this; I have 3 1/2 more squares

- Start one of the devotionals I have next to my bed - I haven't started one yet as I'm still finishing up a study on Jude by Jackie Hill Perry.

So, there you have it. It was good to review this list.  

Week in Review: Picture Edition

 I haven't done a picture heavy post in awhile so here's a glimpse into our week; it included a beautiful Easter Sunday baptism, some crafting, spirit week at school, fun school event and gorgeous weather with a fully blossomed magnolia tree. Not pictured is more work done on house projects.

 

 

Kid's Bible Study Recommendation: LithosKids

 Over the years I have used several different Bible Study books with our kids.  Some were specific for girls or boys others were not.  I've mentioned before that I love the Jesus Storybook Bible; the way that it ties the Bible together and shows how it ALL points to Jesus is wonderful and the illustrations are lovely. It is still one of my favorites.

This past Christmas our youngest two were gifted a book titled Little Pilgrim's Big Journey Part II it is the sequel to Little Pilgrim's Big Journey which is based on  John Bunyan's original book Pilgrim's Progress.  The book is well made, beautifully illustrated and as we read through the book I loved the setup.  At the end of each chapter there is a page that explains the analogy, gives corresponding Scriptures and asks some questions.  The stories and questions were engaging for both our 5yr old and 9yr old.  As we finished the book we were all a bit sad as we had really enjoyed it.

 

I did some research and found out that LithosKids was just releasing a Bible Study called The Kingdom of God; the format is very similar to the other book.  This study is split into two books; one for the Old Testament and one for the New Testament.  I ordered the set and we have started reading through them. The accounts are taken directly from Scripture and each chapter has a review page showing God's presence and promises in each account. There are still questions at the end of each chapter as well to review the Biblical account.

 

 This picture is a little confusing.  There are only two books

the greenish item on the left is the box they come in.

These are not inexpensive books but the quality of both how they are made and the lessons in them are definitely something I could see being used over and over again and even being passed down to future generations. If you have kiddos these books are a great resource; you can find these on the Lithos Kids website

 

**this is not a paid endorsement and I have no affiliation with Lithos Kids I simply love their books and sharing with others great resources I find. 

A few March/Spring goals

 It's been a busy few weeks around here.  We were able to get away for a much needed vacation over February break.  With kids moving out of High School and into adulthood it's hard to say how many more vacations we'll be able to do with all of us so this was a really special time away.  As part of that trip we were able to visit a college our oldest daughter is interested in attending.  We were impressed with the college and are now just praying and trying to figure out finances. 

A couple days after we came back I was able to participate in the Read Across America event at the Grammar School.  Read Across America is an annual event to encourage reading and takes place on or around Dr. Seuss's birthday.  It was a fun time and especially fun to surprise one of our daughters as I was able to read for her class.  I read the book Daisy Head Mayzie by Dr. Seuss. 

So, now that I'm back to my normal (although every week still seems to be different) routine I wanted to set some goals.  I was originally going to say these were March goals but really they are spring goals.  I'm writing these down for my own accountability. 

- Keep up with cleaning routines.

- Go through toys and games and separate into donate or resale piles.

- Research online resale sites or plan for a yard sale once the weather is good.

- Follow Monday through Friday exercise routine.

- Go through my own clothes

- Finish crocheting squares for tunic.

- Start one of the devotionals I have next to my bed: 

   Or          

 So, those are my goals.  

Do you have any recommendations for online resale sites?  Mostly for local sale of toys, household items and possibly a few clothes?

Want to help me decide which devotional to do next?  Which one would you choose?

Seasons of Parenting: Best advice I have been given

 One area of seasons that has especially been on my mind recently is that of the seasons we go through as parents.  I vividly remember being about 8 months pregnant with our first and sitting in a rocking chair in the newly decorated nursery.  I sat wondering who he would be, what he would look like.  Now as I write this he sits across from me working on online college classes preparing to start a new job.  In the time from then to now my life has looked very different than I had planned or envisioned it being.  

When I got married the "plan" was to have two kids; stay home with them until they started school and then work part-time in a job that would still allow me to be home with them when they were not in school.  Now, over 20 years later we have six children; thankfully I have been able to be a stay at home mom for all of that time. Our youngest just started kindergarten this year so I am entering another season of parenting.  It's a time of transition and I'm seeking God for what he would have me do.  I'm finding that even with them all in school there is still a lot of work here at home and, in some ways, I feel that my days are even busier.  

As I've been thinking about these seasons of parenting (several of which I'm still in) and reflecting on the advice (both helpful and critical/unhelpful) that I have been given over the years.  I'm extremely thankful for the helpful and encouraging advice others have shared with me.  Below are nine of the best pieces of advice that I return to over and over.

Best parenting advice I've been given over the years:

1) Pray for your kids! - Pray that they will come to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Pray for them to be grounded in the Truths of the Bible. A common prayer I also have is that God would protect them from my failings; that my mistakes would not lead them astray. 

2) Follow your own child's rhythms and needs; which may well be different for each child. - As parents we encourage our kids that they are made unique by a Loving Father who gave them every detail of their personalities but as parents it can be a challenge sometimes to remember this awesome fact.  There is no "one size fits all" parenting formula.  Prayerfully consider how to parent each of your children in their uniqueness.

3) You've done this before but your child hasn't.  - This was advice given to me by a lactation consultant after the birth of our 6th child.  She was the smallest at birth of any of our kids and, unlike our other kids, was having a bit of trouble getting the hang of nursing.  I said to the lactation consultant "she's my sixth I've nursed them all" and she gave the above words of wisdom. I knew how to nurse my kids but this baby had never done it before.  This wisdom has been helpful when I start to get frustrated when one of the kids just "isn't getting it" or is getting frustrated.   I've already lived through those ages, I know how things work and how they should act/react/accomplish a task but this is their first time being that age.  This thinking has allowed me to grant grace to myself as well as my kids.  

4) Stop everything for awhile and then start again. - When I was potty training our oldest child I was frustrated that he wasn't seeming to progress; a mom friend, who already had 6 children of her own, said "if he's not progressing at all after a week, put everything away and try again in a few months".  I have followed that advice in potty training all my kids.  Some trained earlier than others but when they were ready they all trained in a week.  While it's not always possible to just stop and set aside a situation for a month it is a good reminder to pause and remember that each child will develop on their own timeline.  And sometimes both mom and kiddo need a break, even if just for a few minutes.

5) No matter when your kid wants to talk, take the time. - Another mom friend with kids a few years older than our oldest, gave this advice.  She shared how that her girls would come in late at night and want to talk and how that she learned how important it was to them that she was there at the end of their day to process things they may have faced that day or week.  As a mom, with older and younger kids this is an important reminder.  Yes, I've had nights where a teen was up talking to me until 1am and then I needed to be up at 6am when the toddler woke up.  Some days will be more tiring than others but the window into your child's heart, knowing how to better pray for them and walking with them through those hard times are of far more value than an extra few hours of sleep. 

6) Recognize that you can to everything "right" and still have a child who wanders. - Adam and Eve had the Perfect Parent & instruction and still sinned.  We have an immense amount of influence on our kids but we cannot control their faith walk.  We need to be faithful in our walk with God and again, pray for them.  

7) Every stage of parenting will have beautiful aspects and challenging ones. - We've all heard of the "terrible two's" the "threenager" and of course how horrible parenting teens will be.  Every stage is a season, while the challenges of each will most often resolve as they learn and grow; the unique beauty of that time will also fade into memory.  Enjoy each season as a time of growth not only for your child but for you as a parent. 

8) Under every behavior is a feeling and under that feeling is a need or desire. - Years ago I was given a book titled Shepherding Your Child's Heart; to be honest I never did get far into the book but I did appreciate the truth that there is much more to your child's behavior than just outward action.  Sometimes their desires will be healthy and sometimes unhealthy.  Finding the heart of their behavior allows you to teach them that feelings aren't necessarily good or bad but it's what you choose to do with those feelings that lead to sin or making good choices.  One helpful exercise is to teach them about when Jesus showed intense emotion, yet did not sin.  Or taking them to the Psalms to see how David had really strong feelings but brought them to God and was able to change his focus from worldly things to God.  

9) No matter what happens; when your kids think of you make sure they see Jesus. -  This thought was from an instagram post I saw awhile ago.  I was going through a really rough time dealing with some of those intense "mom" fears.  The post with this quote basically said; you cannot control the future and your worst fears may come true but parent each day so that if those fears came true your kids would see Jesus when they thought about you or looked back on their life with you.  This is such a great reminder to take each day as it comes and to, one day at a time, strive to show Jesus to your kids.

 

Is there any parenting wisdom that you have been given over the years? One that you keep going back to over and over? 

Once again, closing with a new-to-me song titled Living in Your Goodness have a listen and take some time to meditate on the truth of the Goodness of what Jesus has done.

June Recap

 Well, here it is the last few days of June and I'm just now getting a blog post done.  June turned out to be a very busy month.  It started with my computer deciding to die.  Thankfully it was a relatively inexpensive fix but took a few weeks to get to the store to have the issue diagnosed and then another couple weeks for it to be repaired and returned.  But...now it's all nice and fixed with some shiny new parts.  

We also planted our garden. This year we decided to try weed block and so far are pleased with how it is working.  

Maisie helping Ethan get around at the garden center.

All the kids helped put in the garden.

June also brought graduations.  Ethan graduated from High School and Keira from 8th grade.  We had several friends and a niece graduate as well, so there were a lot of graduation festivities.  

Later in June we made a last minute, whirlwind trip to South Carolina. We spent a weekend seeing some friends that we hadn't seen in over 20 years.  We took the older girls with us and it was fun to have some time with just two kiddos.  While in South Carolina we made a day trip to Helen, GA.  

Helen, GA started as an old logging town.  In the 1960's, the town was dying so the counsel decided to reinvent the town as an "Alpine Bavarian Village".  It's a bit touristy but was a fun side trip to see and spend the day walking around the town. You can read more about the history here.

It was a busy, but great month.  We're looking forward to having some time to relax a bit this summer with the kids home from school.  This past weekend the town lake opened and we enjoyed the beautiful weather there.  

The blues and greens were much more vibrant than this picture shows.

I hope you all are enjoying some sunshine and find time to relax and breathe. 

Bluey! And a couple parenting tips.

 If you have littles, by now you've most likely heard of the show Bluey.  The show centers on a family of Blue Heeler dogs; Mum - Chili, Dad - Bandit and their daughters Bluey and Bingo.  The family live in Australia.  The family dynamic, relationship between the parents, Bandit & Chili, and the overall feel of the show is just really wholesome.  It's one that I enjoy watching with the kids and I've seen Maisie mimic the positive lessons from the show; she's also picked up some Australian phrases which is really cute.  I thought I'd share a fun clip with a great parenting tip and also a second parenting technique that I've found to be very helpful

The other day someone online commented on the episode titled Wagon Ride; specifically the technique Bandit uses to help Bluey when she's impatient.  It's a technique that we have used for years with our kids so I thought I'd share the clip from Bluey.  Our kids aren't always perfect in using this method but it's been a huge help and usually with a quick reminder they do it.  As an aside, if they do forget and interrupt we do ask them to apologize to the person with whom we were chatting. 

The specific technique is from 0:59-1:20 of the video.

The second technique we've used, is one to keep the kiddos safe when in a parking lot.  When they are young we teach them to put their hand on the car when they get out and keep touching the car until we take their hand.  This way they can't go further than their arm's length.  Again, we are still cautious and aware in case they forget but for the most part they have been very good about following this instruction.  As we had more kids this was very helpful for when I was getting a baby out of the car or grabbing something I needed from the car.  

What kids shows do you actually enjoy watching with your kids?

Are there any quick tips that you've found to be simple yet extremely useful with your kiddos?

Saturday Snapshots

 I don't do a lot of picture-heavy posts but I thought it would be fun to share some snapshots from our day.  When we moved into this house four years ago there was a lot of beautiful, mature landscaping.  Most of it we have kept but the longer we live here the more we realize that some of it has just gotten too big for where it was planted.  Today we did a lot of spring cleanup and started thinning out some of the landscaping to improve the flow & function of the different areas in our yard.   So, I thought I'd share some of the fun! 

Oldest girl thought the wagon with the branches and flowers was a pretty picture.

He was a huge help.  Was squishing the leaves, but made a funny picture too.

The fun tire swing that Matt hung for them.  Definitely the hit of the day.

They are ALL really great helpers.

Over grown holly bush torn out.

So much open space.

The roots & rock, before we dug them out.

More swing fun!!

A springtime use for the sled.

That opening is where the holly bush was.  

The stones are pulled out so we can put in steps from the 

patio to the side yard. 

Closer picture.  I love that you can see the fountain now from the side yard.

Once the stairs are in I'm planning to put a small table with

two chairs here.  Looking forward to a useable patio space.