A couple blessings to share

I wanted to quickly share a couple of links to some things that have been great blessings to me over the past week; I pray they are blessings for you too. 

I recently have found a couple Christian radio stations in the area so I can now listen to Christian radio all the way from my house to my sister's house. :)  On a recent trip back from her house I caught part of a message by David Jeremiah titled "Knowing the God You Worship"  I was so blessed by the part that I heard that I looked up online to see if I could listen to the full message (it's in two parts).  I was very pleased to find links to the full message.  Here are the links, each one is just under a half hour but they are well worth the listen.

Knowing the God you Worship Part 1
Knowing the God you Worship Part 2

Also, since it is now April I like to share some songs that I find really turn my mind and heart towards Easter.  Here are two such songs:

Quick family update

I realized that I haven't done a family update on here in ages, so I thought I'd do a short one.  2014, so far, has been a fairly good year. 

Personally, I started off the New Year trying to get back into shape.  I did well with exercising and watching my eating thru January and February.  March has been a different story due to death, sickness and other interruptions but I haven't gained any weight (yay for nursing) and am planning to jump back in as the new month begins next week.  My Lent "fast" from Facebook has been going well and God decided that I needed an even bigger break from technology and had my phone break.  I'm using a temporary phone right now (same number) and will hopefully have my phone back in a week or so.  I'm also reading thru several books and am hoping to keep my reading up throughout the year.  I've also gotten some organizing and decluttering done.

Matt & I are both looking forward to some fun things this year including a vacation with family, going to see The Phantom of the Opera (finally fulfilling this dream :) ), and running some obstacle course races together.  It's always great when we can do things together that we enjoy so much and continue to "date" each other.

Ethan is in fourth grade this year and is doing very well.  He loves his teacher and classmates.  One of his best friends moved away over the Christmas break so that was a hard adjustment for him but we're planning to keep in touch once they get a permanent address.  He loves to read and has really been enjoying the "Eragon" series this year.  He's also really gotten into the "Narnia" series and will be performing in a play of "The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe" at school.  He turned 10 in December and it's bittersweet to see how much he's changing; he's definitely not a little boy anymore and is in the tween stage.  It's fun to have him "get" the jokes that we tell and be able to converse with him on an older level but it's also sad to realize how quickly time has passed.

Hailey is in third grade now and love it.  She loves her teacher and is thriving at school.  She also loves to read and has about 5 books that she's reading thru, depending on her mood.  She'll be 9 in a month and is also not so little anymore.  She and I have had some great conversations about growing up but can still be silly together.  She LOVES "Frozen" and has memorized most of the songs and a lot of the movie (much to her brother's annoyance).  She loves music (just like her mama) and we have a lot of fun singing together. 

Keira is in Kindergarten this year and is doing well.  She also loves her teacher and is very excited about learning to read.  She can now read simple sentences and is learning her phonics rules.  She loves to draw cards and pictures for her siblings and parents.  She also loves to hang out watching movies and is crazy about anything "My Little Pony". 

Titus will be four in a couple weeks and continues to be our ball of energy.  Hailey said the other day that "life would be too quiet without Titus" and she's right.  He loves superheros, dinosaurs, cuddles, Doctor Who, Skylanders and any game that he can play.  He's recently discovered Mastermind so we play a lot of that.  He also plays Stratego, Candyland and Diego 1,2,3.  He also loves any type of art project.  He keeps me company while the other kids are at school and he dotes on his baby sister. 

Amy will be six months old next week and is growing well.  She loves to be held and be in the middle of everything.  I always say the more that is going on around her, the happier she is (you can definitely tell she's the youngest of five).  She loves her walker, rattles, and any other toy she can get her hands on.  She also loves her siblings and gives lots of squeals, smiles and giggles.  Ethan taught her how to blow raspberries so she enjoys that also.  She isn't moving around much yet but if we put her into a sitting position she can hold herself for a bit.

Here are Amy's 6 month picture and Titus' 4yr picture:

Lessons (almost) halfway thru lent

Once again, I'm seeing how little I do see of God's plan and how important it is to take every day as it comes and trust Him for each step.  Here it is almost halfway thru Lent and so much has happened that I could never have imagined yet God is faithful and has shown in so many ways His love, care and guidance.

At the beginning of Lent I thought I knew what God wanted me to focus on.  I would give up Facebook and focus on weeding out material possessions and simplifying our home thru less stuff and more streamlined meal plans.  Over the past few weeks God has shown me how small my sights were set. 

First, it was the realization of how much in life is simply noise; literally and figuratively.  It was humbling to realize how much of my time was focused on answering the dings and rings of notifications from my phone.  Turning off Facebook quieted the majority of those interruptions; and you know what, it was calming, freeing. 

Next, I found myself reflecting on those possessions, but not on how many but on what they said about me.  My grandmother was recently admitted to a nursing home and while helping to clean out her apartment I thought, who would someone see if they walked thru my house without knowing anything about me?  What does my home reflect?  What does it show as my priorities?  What is truly important to pass on to my kids? To use for ministry to others? And what would those who know me see as worth keeping? 

A little less than two weeks ago I received a phone call saying that my sister in law had passed away unexpectedly.  She was just a few weeks past her 40th birthday and, while she had struggled with health issues, what took her was completely unrelated to those issues.  I won't say a lot about our relationship other than that I always struggled to love her.  She and I never meshed well.  There's nothing like an untimely death to make one take a long hard look at how they're living and her's has really turned my focus on my wrong attitudes and reactions. 

I fully admit that I have a hard time being loving to all people; to having that impartiality that the Bible teaches in the book of James.  I can be reactionary.  In fact, a couple months ago i started an inductive study titled "God's love alive in you" by Kay Arthur (I'm still slowly making my way thru this study).  I recognize that this is an area that I need a lot of growth in.  Over the past couple weeks I've thought a lot about my relationship with my sister in law.  It was work for me to be around her. I would pray, plan out conversations and then something would be said and I'd react badly and fail.

God is teaching me, showing me that people like my sister in law are there to be the iron sharpening iron.  To be the sandpaper rubbing off the rough edges and polishing so that each of us can better reflect His image.  So, yes.  I'm grateful for the time I knew her and for how God used her in my life, for the rough spots that she showed me that still need work.  Namely, the fact that I need to see each person how God sees them, with the value and care that He has for them.

There are still plenty of "sandpaper people" (check out the book "Sandpaper People", it's excellent!) in my life and I'm sure I'll fail over and over but my prayer is that by God's grace and strength His love would increase in my heart and pour out to those around me.  That I would become less as He becomes more.

If you've read this far in my ramblings, thank you. I would ask for your prayers as I continue on this journey and also for my brother as he adjusts to life without his wife and as a single dad. I'd like to end this post by sharing a song that has really spoken to me about what it means to be God's love to the world.

A poem: God is in every tomorrow.

I have a long blog post rattling around in my brain but I haven't had time to sit and put it all down.  So, in the meantime, I wanted to share this poem (I can't remember if I've shared it before but it's worth sharing again even if I have) :) that I tore out of a magazine ages ago.  I recently found it in a box of papers and it's very fitting for recent events that our family has been facing.

God Is In Every Tomorrow

God is in every tomorrow,

Therefore I live for today,

Certain of finding at sunrise,

Guidance and strength for the day;

Power for each moment of weakness;

Hope for each moment of pain, 

Comfort for every sorrow,

Sunshine and joy after rain.

God is in every tomorrow,

Planning for you and for me;

E'en in the dark will I follow,

Trust where my eyes cannot see,

Stilled by His promise of blessing,

Soothed by the touch of His hand, 

Confident in His protection,

Knowing my life-path is planned.

God is in every tomorrow, 

Life with its changes may come,

He is behind and before me,

While in the distance shines Home!

Home where no thoughts of tomorrow

Ever can shadow my brow, 

Home in the presence of Jesus,

Through all eternity now!

~Author Unknown

My journey to observing Lent

Disclaimer: This post will most likely be rambling and stream of consciousness as many things led me to this place.

Growing up Lent was something that Catholics did, I didn't really know what it was and didn't bother to learn because I'm not Catholic.  Over the last few years I've had a couple of friends (non-Catholic) choose to observe Lent.  Again, I didn't think much of it and saw it more as a way to build some will power, great for them but not something I bothered with.

Fast forward to the start of 2014.  We started a study in our small groups at church entitled "Follow Me" by David Platt.  This study has challenged me in so many ways.  There have been times that, while watching the DVD sessions I've been so blown away that I literally catch my breath and tear up.  Trust me, this is not normal for me, especially since most of what he says are things I've heard all of my life.  In this series we've been studying what it really means to be willing to give up everything for Jesus, to hold everything with open hands trusting that as our loving Father He will always do what's best whether or not we understand the "whys". 

Let me take a rabbit trail here and explain something....I was raised (as I think we all were) on the American Dream.  Work hard and get what you "deserve".  Now, there's nothing wrong with hard work, in fact the Bible tells us to work hard and not be lazy.  But the Bible also says to care for the poor & needy.  How much of the American Dream mentality is really focused on others...not much.  I grew up in a rural setting and rarely encountered homeless people.  When I did my attitude was "that's so sad, they should get a job"  or I'd assume that they were alcohol/drug addicts and so I shouldn't give them money because they'd just spend it on their vice.  Sad to say, that was my attitude, and yes it's shameful and hateful and not loving or a reflection of Christ in any way. 

When I became a parent my attitudes started to change.  I found myself telling my kids "it doesn't matter what the other person does, you're only responsible for your actions" and then I'd hear God saying "are you listening to yourself" or I'd say "be kind to other's and be Jesus to them" and God would say "are you doing this".  My answer sadly, was no.  One day I saw someone asking for money and God finally got thru to me.  It doesn't matter what that person does with what I give them, I'm simply told to give.  Jesus didn't put qualifiers on His command to help the poor, he simple said to help them. 

Another thing that got me thinking about the entitlement attitudes and excesses of our society is a little girl in a country far away.  She is 5 1/2, the same age as my little girl; only this girl couldn't afford to go to school, she didn't always get good meals, and she has family troubles.  God placed her in my life thru Compassion International and I have grown to love this little girl thru her letters.  She recently had to move out of her home, I don't know why.  The amount I send each month (an amount that most of us probably spend on impulse purchases several times a year) provides schooling, food, gifts and most importantly teaching about Jesus who loves her beyond what she could ever imagine.

So, how does this all tie into Lent?  Because, for me, this year, choosing to observe Lent is about choosing to hold things with an open hand, choosing to deny some of the excesses of society.  I'm not doing anything Earth shattering or that will change the world.  Next Tuesday night I'll be uninstalling Facebook from my phone, logging out from my computer and not using it until after Easter.  I want to use the time to focus on evaluating the excesses in my life and working thru changes I want to make.  I'm hoping to get at least one or two posts up documenting these changes.  I'm hoping to do a clean-out-the-pantry week or two to focus on planning meals to use up what we have and hopefully discover many budget friendly meals.  I'm looking forward to this time of unplugging and am excited to see where God will take me, as the journey with Him is always full of surprises. :)

My thoughts (ramblings) on parenting

So, yesterday I took a quiz on the internet called “How many kids should you have” my results were that I should only have one child because that's all I'm cut out for. I laughed and posted about it on Facebook. As the day went on I kept thinking about the quiz. It seems that a lot of these quizzes (and internet articles in general) assume that if you have several kids you will never get a shower, will let yourself go physically, will never have time for your marriage and will never be able to eat a balanced meal, much less actually cook that balanced meal.

I'm certainly no expert and I fail miserably as a mom many times but here are my not-so-expert thougths on this.

1. I would agree that I'm not “cut out” for more than 1 kid; goodness I'm probably not cut out for even one. I love to travel, to be spontaneous, have fun, go on an adventure. Growing up I was never one to like kids, I had no interest in babysitting or babies in general. To this day I've never gotten “baby fever” and I can only take other people's kids in short doses. You see, the five kids we have are God's way of showing me that I really can't do anything without his strength. It's amazing to see how God takes the things we're no good at and shows us what He can do with those things. It's only thru His strength that I'm able to parent my kids, I mess up but His grace covers me. It's humbling to admit how many times I've had to apologize to my kids but you know what, I've never regretted apologizing and they've come to know that I'll mess up but I love them enough to admit when I'm wrong and ask forgiveness. I love my kids more than I ever thought I could love anyone.

2. As for getting a daily shower; everyone has their thing (or set of things) that matter, that they have to do to feel human. For me, that's showering. No matter what is going on if I don't get a daily shower I just don't feel like I can face the day well. So yes, even with a newborn, toddler, etc. I still shower every day, it is possible :) But you know what, sometimes other things get left undone and that's okay! Prioritize and do what works best for your family, not what some blog, or quiz says you should do.

3. Another thing that has become important to me is exercise. I never used to exercise but shortly before Titus turned 2 I decided I needed to do something to lose the last of the baby weight I was still carrying around. I found something I enjoyed and set goals. I grew to love my daily exercise, it was a time to just focus on accomplishing a goal. I have so much more energy when I exercise, I feel better mentally too. So now I fit some exercise in several days a week. Is it always easy to find the time, no. Before Amy was born I was getting up between 5-5:30AM to go exercise before getting the kids up for school. Now I exercise after they go to bed. Bedtime for me is usually around 11PM. I'm not saying this to sound prideful but to show that time management is everything. And you know what, I still fail often at being consistent but each new morning is another chance to move forward.

4. Marriage: I've heard the saying that the best gift you can give your kids is a healthy marriage. I completely agree! Matt is my best friend, I love spending time with him. He and our marriage come before the kids; he is a higher priority to me. Yes, when we have a newborn in the house my time is skewed more to the baby side but as soon as possible that balance gets shifted back. More than anything my kids need to see that their parents love God and love each other, they need to see two people who respect each other, who communicate, they need to learn that while we love them completely our world does not revolve around them, that it is more important to focus on others rather than on themselves, to be helpful and supportive. So, we still date each other, we let our kids see us being silly, getting dressed up to go out together and they get excited about us going out so they can hang out with their favorite baby sitter(s).
5. Again, with the meals, it's so much a matter of planning and time management. Before each of my kids were born (except our first) I packed my freezer with meals I had made ahead, simple but nutritious meals that kept us from ordering out; which is not only nutritionally bad but also gets expensive fast. Meal planning and using a slow cooker are my top tips for getting yummy, healthy meals on the table almost every night (tonight we ordered pizza; it's all about balance :) ). I also survey the troops every week or two to see if they have any meal requests or ideas.

So you see, it is possible to have several kids and still manage to function like a normal person. I would add that attitude is 90% of the battle. Choosing to focus on the positive, what God has provided, to be grateful and to accept His grace and forgiveness when you fail. To get back up. No, my home is not perfect, I fail daily; I often forget to focus on the positive, I get upset because things aren't “my way”, sheets don't get washed as often as they should, dust collects in corners. I admit, I'm not cut out for all these kids; but each of my kids is a blessing, a gift, they are worth more than any perfect house, and they have a unique, God-given purpose and so I choose daily, often moment-by-moment to be used by God to raise these kids that I never expected.

The next time you take a quiz, read a blog, puruse a parenting website remember that whether or not you feel adequate as a parent, God is far wiser and far stronger and that He is the ultimate parent and will guide you whether you have one child or many children because he knows you and them best.

“For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.”

1 Corinthans 1:25

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13