El Roi - the God who sees

Awhile ago I listened to a podcast series by Beth Moore on the names of God.  I learned so much from her teaching; she delves deep into the Hebrew words.  To try and wrap God up into a name or many names, is really impossible; but to focus on His attributes as He has revealed Himself in Scripture gives such a deeper understanding of just some of Who He is.  

With all that's going on in the world around us; there are so many things I'm thankful for about who God is; He is in control, He is loving, He is all-knowing, all-wise...but the name that keeps coming back to my mind is this one...El Roi; the God who sees.  Hagar declares this name of God when God meets her at her lowest; wandering in a desert, alone, pregnant, abused and abandoned by those she belonged to, in a foreign land.   I was recently reading another blog and it was pointed out that Abraham and Sarah never refer to Hagar by name in Genesis 16.  Moses gives us her name but Abraham and Sarah only refer to her as "my servant" and "your servant".  Yet, in verse 8 the very first word God says to her is her name; Hagar.  He knows her by name and cares for her; at her deepest time of need God is there and He promises that her child will grow and prosper; "I will surely multiply your offspring so that they cannot be numbered for multitude" ~ Genesis 16:10.  Verse 13 says "So she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, "You are a God of seeing." for she said.  "Truly here I have seen him who looks after me."  She understood that God seeing her was not a one time thing.  God had given her promises and He would look after her and faithfully fulfill those promises.  You see, the other name for God given in this verse; here translated as LORD, is Yahweh; the covenant God of Israel. The name He gives when making a covenant or promise.  

Hebrews 6:13 says "For when God made a promise to Abraham, since he had no one greater by whom to swear, he swore by himself."  Genesis 12:7 is the verse referred to here in Hebrews and if you look at that verse the name given for God is also translated as LORD and is the Hebrew word Yahweh.  

Hagar, an Egyptian slave, is seen by God and He promises to look after her.  How much more are we; His children who have His Spirit living in us, seen by Him.  When things seem overwhelming; He is there,  He has not forgotten you...He sees you always; and He sees everything that is going on around you.  When all seems out of control, God is not!  

I was blessed by this song today and hope you are too; it's a bit longer than a traditional song but it also includes spoken word and is such a beautiful reminder that El Roi has been working throughout history and is still at work today.  HE SEES YOU! 

It's a process...and that's okay.

"It's a process", a phrase we often say with a sigh.  Learning a new skill, unlearning a long entrenched thought, breaking a habit, or starting a new one.  We live in a world where busy is celebrated, instant gratification is expected whether by searching the internet for an answer or ordering something we need (or want).  More than 2 days to receive either seems like a lifetime.  But as I get older I'm learning (or trying to learn) to embrace the process. 

Every aspect of our lives is an opportunity for growth.  Parenting is definitely a process; and I'm not just talking about potty training, reading or one of the untold number of things we teach our children.  I'm talking about the personal growth that comes in parenting.  There's nothing like having your own kids to learn more about yourself.  Marriage is also a process; as you learn to give space for another, for their thoughts, feelings, desires, dreams and goals and to come together to find mutuality in those spaces.  More recently I've been learning and thinking how that spiritual growth is so integral to each area of our lives and how that the process of spiritual growth; while often hard, is also important to embrace.

Let me share a personal story here:  In 2012 I decided to start running it had been 2 years since I'd had my last baby and I knew I needed to do something to be healthier.  It was great; a friend started about the same time; we trained together, built our friendship and had a lot of fun.  Fast forward to 2016, I had been struggling for a while with some physical pain but had pushed through.  I wasn't enjoying running as much and all the training time was something that had started nagging in the back of my mind...was I really prioritizing things right?  I had run two half marathons and had decided to train for my first triathlon sprint; I took swim lessons at a local gym and was excited to check off another thing where I could say "I did it".  In June we went on vacation...and God got my attention...He literally stopped me in my tracks.  I was out running, tripped on a curb, landed wrong and fractured my ankle.  I was so upset.  I cried but still wasn't ready to give up on the triathlon.  Yes, I couldn't run it but I still had several weeks and figured I could still do the swim and bike and just walk the 5k part; I told everyone I was still going to do it..I was going to push through.  We camped near the event the night before.  That night I came to understand the passage in Scripture that said "Jacob wrestled with God" because I wrestled with Him almost all night.  I prayed and prayed asking God to help me do the triathlon and I felt worse and worse. I cried, I didn't want to disappoint others or myself, I needed to prove that I could do this.  About 2am Matt woke up and asked if I was okay; I asked him if he'd be disappointed if I didn't do the triathlon; his response "No, I don't think you should do it."  I told God I wouldn't do it, I had heard him and He had affirmed what I had been fighting against in those few words from Matt. I had such a weight lifted from me and finally fell asleep.  

Since then I have tried running and each time after a few runs my ankle acts up (I had broken the same ankle when I was a kid and the orthopedic told me it may never be right again since I'm older now.).  I'm learning that it's okay to choose what works now; I'm currently doing yoga.  God has been working on me a lot over the past few years and this is just one example of how He has and is showing me that everything is a process.  Learning to run, learning to let go of running like I used to, learning to value what He says and thinks about me more than what others say, think and expect of me (or even that I think and expect of myself), learning to adjust to the different seasons in parenting, marriage, and every other area.  It's all a process and the growth in those areas takes time, takes trust, takes faith and most of all takes putting God first in each area knowing that HE is in each process.  I still have very far to go but I'm so thankful for each time I look back and see even more places where God has worked and where I can say "God was there and He is still here with me; even in this part of the process."  Yes, life is a process...but that's okay...and you know what? That triathlon that I was so determined to do; I was there to cheer on my friends who did complete it as their first triathlon and they encouraged me that my decision (really God's decision) not to do the triathlon, was the right one.  

Following God's ways...even when it's uncomfortable

As I look around at our world and all the evil that is so boldy being proclaimed; both verbally and in action, these verses have been coming to mind a lot.

Proverbs 27:6 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”

Proverbs 27:17 “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

Ephesians 4:15-16 “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.”

James 1:14-15 “But each one is tempted when by his own evil desires he is lured away and enticed. Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”

We as believers so often excuse sin; whether because we are afraid of conflict or think “but they are happy” we shy away from speaking truth. Yet, we are commanded to speak the truth in love so that the whole body can work together in unity...as we were designed (see the rest of Ephesians 4 for a reference). Yes, it may be hard to speak the truth to our friend when we see them making sinful choices; especially if they seem happy on the path they have chosen. But the Bible says there will only be true joy and life when we are faithfully following God. Proverbs 16:20 says “Whoever gives thought to the word will discover good, and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord.” This is just one example. If you Google Bible verses on happiness you will find that ALL of them point to true joy only being found in following God’s Word and living for Him. As James 1 says; sin will ALWAYS lead to death.

The world tells us to “follow your heart” but Jeremiah 17:9 says “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” and 1 John 3:20 says the way to overcome our deceitful hearts is to trust the One who is greater “God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.” I get it, it’s easy to get caught up in the emotions; to think that the world is right...because it “feels” right..and you know what? God knows too! He knows everything! We can often logically explain the sin; why it “makes sense” but here’s the thing...WE ARE NOT GOD! Isaiah 55:8-9 reminds us that “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 46:9b-10 also reminds us that God knows the end from the beginning “for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose,’” We DO NOT understand, we DO NOT see...but God does...He knows the end of that path; so if He has declared something sin than we need to trust that whether or not we understand His reasons and no matter how we may feel, we MUST follow God’s way. Society says that our emotions determine truth but God says HE is the ONLY One who can be trusted for what is true. He is not a hard taskmaster but a loving Father Who wants the best for us ““Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:7-11 and when we delight in Him..when our hearts are tuned to His will he promises changed hearts… and desires that He can and will grant “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

This is not an issue to take lightly or pridefully but to humbly pray and seek God; asking Him to search your own heart for any wickedness “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24) but it is also not an issue we should neglect 1 Corinthians 12:25-26 reminds us that we are one body interdependent “that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” So, as we seek unity may we be bold to encourage each other but also to admonish each other, IN LOVE, to faithfully serve God and not excuse sin.

Crafting again

I recently found the subreddit on reddit.com com for crochet.  Looking through the projects and posts I was inspired to start crocheting again.  These are my two most recent projects.  The first is an elephant lovey that I made as a baby gift.  The second is what I'm calling my "awesomely ugly stashbuster blanket". It's lap blanket size. I used up a lot of scraps of yarn and used this project to practice a corner to corner crochet pattern; I had made a C2C (corner to corner) blanket for Amy when she was born but haven't done one since.  I have a planned gift project that also is worked C2C so I wanted to practice.  It's not the prettiest blanket but definitely more useful than the yarn sitting in a tote; and it kind of makes me smile because it's just so crazy with the colors.  The edges are also a bit wonky because some of the yarns were different weights.  I may add a border at some point to hide this a bit, but for now it'll stay wonky.