Postscript to a poem

Yesterday I shared the poem titled "The Rose".  I love the message behind the words...only God can perfectly orchestrate the events in our lives.  In truth though, more often than not I struggle with this.  I fight against God.  I ask why and I mourn the loss of what I had dreamed.

I know in my head that God's way is perfect, that he has known me since before all time - knows me better than I know myself - yet I still fight.  The illusion of control is strong and I want to plan everything, control everything.  It's hard to trust!  I trust people and they disappoint me, hurt me.  The trouble is I tend to put God on this same level,  will he hurt me?  disappoint me?  He takes my plans & dreams and turns them upside down.  Can I really trust enough to say "Yes" and wait for Him to reveal how everything has been for my best (even if I have to wait until Heaven?).  It's tough to "let go and let God" it's tough to realize that all my "perfect" plans have been thrown out the window and ultimately to realize, once again, that control is just an illusion.  I was reading a book recently and came across this quote.

"Lament is a cry of belief in a good God, a God who has His ear to our hearts,

a God who transfigures the ugly into beauty.  Complaint is the bitter howl

of unbelief in any benevolent God in this moment, a distrust in the love-beat

of the Father's heart." ~Ann Voskamp

It was a great reminder to me that my complaints are unbelief in God's goodness and a distrust in His love for me.  This lead to another thought; if I'm distrusting God who am I trusting in...ultimately myself, my plans...how prideful!  

One of my favorite passages of Scripture is in Ezekiel.  The Israelites have chosen to worship other gods and God is speaking to them about all He has done for them.  How He loves them and why their unfaithfulness is so hurtful to Him.  It has been a challenge to me that when I serve the gods of self & pride -when I think I can do a better job with my life - I am hurting the one who loved me so much that He sacrificed His Son so He could spend eternity with me. (I John 4:10)  This passage is also such an encouragement; I've read the following passage many times when I just need to hear that He loves me even when I'm unlovely, that He accepts me, finds me beautiful, cares for every detail of my life and heals every hurt I face.  Yes, life is hard.  I will have times of fighting God but I pray those times become less as I realize that while I can lament the ugly/unpleasant things in my life I can always trust that God is good and that He loves me...always!

Ezekiel 16:4-14

And as for your birth, on the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to cleanse you, nor rubbed with salt, nor wrapped in swaddling cloths. ⁵ No eye pitied you, to do any of these things to you out of compassion for you, but you were cast out on the open field, for you were abhorred, on the day that you were born.

⁶ “And when I passed by you and saw you wallowing in your blood, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ ⁷ I made you flourish like a plant of the field. And you grew up and became tall and arrived at full adornment. Your breasts were formed, and your hair had grown; yet you were naked and bare.
⁸ “When I passed by you again and saw you, behold, you were at the age for love, and I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness; I made my vow to you and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Lord God, and you became mine. ⁹ Then I bathed you with water and washed off your blood from you and anointed you with oil. ¹⁰I clothed you also with embroidered cloth and shod you with fine leather. I wrapped you in fine linen and covered you with silk^{, 11} And I adorned you with ornaments and put bracelets on your wrists and a chain on your neck. ¹² And I put a ring on your nose and earrings in your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. ¹³ Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen and silk and embroidered cloth. You ate fine flour and honey and oil. You grew exceedingly beautiful and advanced to royalty. ¹⁴ And your renown went forth among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through the splendor that I had bestowed on you, declares the Lord God.

A poem to share

Several years ago I found this poem and ever since have kept it in the cover to my Bible.  There is no author listed and I don't even remember where I found the poem.

When I first saw this poem I thought it was a great reminder.  As life has gone on, tragedies have struck, life has taken twists and turns that I never expected and there have been many hurts.  Along with these there has been the clear guiding hand of God and I have seen many blessings and growth not just in myself but in others facing difficult or unexpected circumstances.  The words of Isaiah ring so true

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9 

 

The Rose

It is only a tiny rosebud -

A flower of God's design;

But I cannot unfold the petals

With these clumsy hands of mine

The secret of unfolding flowers

Is not known to such as I - 

The flower God opens so swetly

In my hands would fade and die.

If I cannot unfold a rosebud

The flower of God's design,

Then how can I think I have wisdom

to unfold this life of mine?

So I'll trust in Him for His leading

Each moment of every day,

And I'll look to Him for His guidance

Each step of the pilgrim way.

For the pathway that lies before me

My Heavenly Father knows -

I'll trust Him to unfold the moments 

Just as He unfolds the rose.

Update on Goals and a few recipes to share.

I've finished some of my goals already so I thought I would update what is done.  I also wanted to share two of my standby recipes.  First, the goal update.


Goals:
1) Finish reading "Crazy Love" - DONE
2) Read 2 presidential biographies (Garfield & Harding books are on the way) - finished one still reading the Harding book
3) Continue attending More for Moms & Mom's Night Out - Done so far
4) Continue running for as long as possible - Still running 4-5 times a week
5) Use Prenatal Fitness Fix DVD regularly - Not regularly but do this sometimes when I don't run.
6) Finish crocheting Keira's blanket - DONE
7) Crochet blanket for baby (once we find out gender) - still waiting to find out gender
8) Set up daily schedules (had forgotten about this but need to do this) - I don't do this every day but usually in the morning I make a list of what needs to be done that day.
9) Declutter kid's rooms - Not yet
10) Find and complete a Bible study of 1 John - Still need to find one.


And now for the recipes....
One thing that I have done for awhile now is make our own bread.  It saves quite a bit of money and I'm able to control the ingredients.  As life has gotten busier & busier I'm always looking for ways to simplify tasks.  A few months ago I came across a recipe for one hour sandwich bread.  Including baking time it takes just an hour.   Then, several weeks ago I came across another recipe for 30 minute rolls.  While I do find these take a bit longer than 30 minutes they are still quick. I've also shaped these to use as hamburger buns & that works well also .

One Hour Sandwich Bread:
http://www.foodiewithfamily.com/2010/04/17/one-hour-sandwich-bread/
**I have successfully substituted 1/2 of the flour with white whole wheat flour.  I also usually add 2 TB of flax seed.  I cook this is greased loaf pans and do not use the pan of water in the oven.

30 minute yeast rolls:
 http://www.yourhomebasedmom.com/30-minute-rolls/
**I shape into 15 rolls (which are plenty big enough) and bake for 13-15 minutes.  To make burger buns I shape into 12 flatter rolls and place on cookie sheet that has been sprinkled with corn meal.  Bake the same as the rolls.

Some big changes...and redefining goals

Well, God certainly has a way of surprising us and changing things up to show that while we may make plans ultimately all is in His hands. 

 "The heart of man plans his way,
    but the Lord establishes his steps"

Proverbs 16:9

At the beginning of February we got a very big surprise when we found out that baby #5 is on the way.  I have to admit the news was very overwhelming and I'm still adjusting to the idea and all of the changes and details that have to be worked out.  God is showing me in many small ways that He is in control and already has these things worked out.  As a planner, it's often hard for me to just "let go and let God". 

I had my first appointment with my midwife on March 5th and we announced our coming addition to our family and friends after that visit.  My due date is Sept. 26th. 

So, needless to say my goals for this year have been changed a bit so I thought I would update.  The good news is that I've gotten the okay from my midwife to continue running and exercising (with modifications) as long as I feel okay.  So, here are my original goals and my updated goals.

Original:
1) Finish reading Creative Counterpart - DONE
2) Finish reading Crazy Love
3) Attend More for Moms (Bible Study group)
4) Attend Moms night out (Bible/Book Study group)
5) Continue with Running/P90X2 - STILL RUNNING HAD TO STOP P90X2
6) Run all 3 Wild Rover Races - I'VE RUN 2 BUT ONE HAD TO BE RESCHEDULED TO 4/14, THANKFULLY IT'S THE 3 MILE ONE SO I STILL SHOULD BE OKAY TO RUN THAT ONE.
7) Be at college weight by June (have about 6lbs more to go) - MADE IT TO WITHIN 2LBS BEFORE PREGNANCY STOPPED THE WEIGHT LOSS
8) Slow Down - Don't overschedule
9) Finish some crocheted gifts for friends - DONE
10) Reevaluate grocery shopping habits & cut costs.
11) Complete 8 week fitness/weight loss challenge - DID MOST OF THIS, HAD TO STOP DUE TO MORNING SICKNESS
12) Set up a daily schedule - Redeem the time - Limit time on computer/phone.
13) Continue Rereading 1000 Gifts and working on list. - DONE REREADING, STILL ADDING TO THE LIST


New Goals:
1) Finish reading "Crazy Love"
2) Read 2 presidential biographies (Garfield & Harding books are on the way)
3) Continue attending More for Moms & Mom's Night Out
4) Continue running for as long as possible
5) Use Prenatal Fitness Fix DVD regularly
6) Finish crocheting Keira's blanket
7) Crochet blanket for baby (once we find out gender)
8) Set up daily schedules (had forgotten about this but need to do this)
9) Declutter kid's rooms
10) Find and complete a Bible study of 1 John

I may think of more as the year goes on but for now I'll leave it at that.  The grocery goal is one that I'm going to say is done for now.  Matt & I have discussed this and for now I'm doing the best I can with the eating priorities we have for our house (many fresh veggies, VERY limited processed foods, etc) and the fact that we have 4 growing kids who eat a lot :)

Goals for 2013

I really enjoy the start of a new year.  It's nice to look back on the previous year and see how God has led and blessed and also to evaluate where I need to grow.  Originally I wasn't going to really set goals for this year but as I thought about it more I decided that there were a few things I'd like to get down "on paper" to hold me accountable.  I'm sure there will be many more things as the year goes on but for right now these are the goals I have (in no particular order).

1) Finish reading Creative Counterpart
2) Finish reading Crazy Love
3) Attend More for Moms (Bible Study group)
4) Attend Moms night out (Bible/Book Study group)
5) Continue with Running/P90X2
6) Run all 3 Wild Rover Races
7) Be at college weight by June (have about 6lbs more to go)
8) Slow Down - Don't overschedule
9) Finish some crocheted gifts for friends
10) Reevaluate grocery shopping habits & cut costs. 
11) Complete 8 week fitness/weight loss challenge
12) Set up a daily schedule - Redeem the time - Limit time on computer/phone.
13) Continue Rereading 1000 Gifts and working on list.


So, there they are :)  I need to remember to review this list and keep these fresh in my mind.

The "taming of the shoes" :)

Meet my nemesis:  The shoe pile

I organize this area, weed out the shoes that don't need to be in the kitchen and yet in no time at all it has grown to this mess.  Add to the shoes the coats, backpacks and other random items that get dropped when we walk in the door.  This corner of the kitchen and I have been fighting for quite some time.  I've looked at many different ideas but none of them quite worked.  for one thing we have lovely old radiators (you can see it in the far right of the picture) and large low windows that don't leave any space for large storage options.  I had this cabinet between the two windows

this seemed to just add to the problem.  More things would get piled on the cabinet and soon that whole wall in the kitchen just looked messy.  Enter Pinterest!

I love browsing Pinterest and have used several ideas and recipes with great success.  I decided to search for storage and organizational ideas.  I found many but again, most I couldn't use because of the space restrictions.  Finally I happened upon a pin that showed a bench with large storage baskets that I thought might work.  After showing my husband (and finding out that the bench was on sale) we ordered it.  My husband also made a coordinating coat rack and shelf.  So here is what the area looks like now.

 The cabinet has been moved to the dining room and makes a great place to store fresh fruit and place the water pitcher during dinner.  We still have a rug with a couple pair of my husbands shoes (and space for visitors to place their shoes.  But all of the other shoes are neatly stored away.  The backpacks are off the floor and the shelf provides a nice spot for the kitchen radio.  I will be making new covers for the cushions (they are already quite dirty) that are more kid friendly.  I now love this area and the kids love the fact that they don't have to dig thru piles of shoes to find their shoes in the morning.

Another great organizational idea I found on Pinterest was something called a "family command center".  Basically an area to have all the lists, schedules, etc in one place.  I loved the idea and set out to find the supplies.

I found the calendar board at The Christmas Tree Shop.  The smaller "frames" were  for pictures but I simply printed up backgrounds on card stock for these areas.  One for a shopping list and one for our menu.  The frames below were also found at The Christmas Tree Shop and work great as chore charts.  I simply write on them with dry erase marker and then change up the chores as needed.  I customized each one with each child's name and a Bible verse about working/labor.  Here are a couple close ups of the chore charts.

So there you have it.  I definitely have a lot more work to do; especially upstairs, to really feel organized but this is a nice start. 

A summery summary, in Pictures.

I finally got the hundreds (literally) of pictures uploaded from my phone.  I still have some to upload from my camera but wanted to get this post up before summer officially ends (seems crazy that fall is so close).  So this will be a picture heavy post highlighting some of the fun times we had this summer.

In May I ran my second 5K with my friend Laurie.  I beat my previous time and had a lot of laughs before and after the race.

In June, we started the summer with a kid free trip to South Dakota to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary.  The scenery was gorgeous and we had a wonderful time together.

The beginning of July included trips to different local parks

Lots of outdoor water play in our backyard

Ethan & Hailey had swimming lessons at the local lake

And many, many trips to the local library

A special day with Mimi at York's Wild Kingdom ended with all of the kids "winning" inflatable toys.

The end of July saw us going South to Virginia to visit family.  We also made a stop in PA to visit my brother & his family. A highlight of our time in Virginia was going to Jamestown Settlement.

August included more library trips, gearing up for school and a fun day with Grammie B. at Storyland.

We also enjoyed several Science Centers, family gatherings, tye dyeing tshirts, baking together, visiting local friends and many, many special times of just being together and being silly as a family.  God has truly blessed and it is wonderful to look over all that He has done over the past few months.