While there is no formula for life; I've found there are things that can help along the way. A few years ago our church's Mom's Night Out group worked through Beth Moore's book and study title The Quest. In this study there were five questions from Scripture; posed by Jesus, that are examined. It was one of the most transforming studies I've done in my life and to this day I still have those five questions posted on my mirror and often ask them of myself.
Recently there are three more questions that I've added to my mirror. The first is a question my husband often asks our kids when they are contemplating a decision. The other two are from the most recent study we did in Mom's Night Out, titled Jesus Over Everything by Lisa Whittle.
In my recent blog post titled When Stepping Forward Seems Like Moving Backwards I mentioned that my daughter had asked me about how to know when you're stepping out in faith versus running ahead of God. My answer to her was "I'm still learning." These three questions are a large part of that learning process and have been a great help.
Questions to consider:
1) What is your goal? As I said, this is one that my husband often asks our kids and one that I have been asking myself more and more. When I want to say something; what is my goal? Is it to inform? To clear up a misunderstanding? To encourage? To hurt as I've been hurt? This question has helped me not only clarify what my goal is but also to evaluate if asking that question or having that conversation will actually move toward or accomplish that goal.
There are some situations where you can have a right motivation, you can do things Biblically and people will still not respond right. Some will choose to never try and understand who you truly are or what you are truly trying to say. I'm a fixer and I also get frustrated when I'm misunderstood. This question has helped me to realize when a conversation is just me trying to fix something that will never be fixed and to leave it in God's hands.
This question has also challenged me to step out of my comfort zone to say or do something, knowing that it will help me to move toward or accomplish a goal.
2) Is this a Jesus-first choice or a me-first choice? I've really appreciated this question as there are many good decisions you can make but some are decisions to advance ourselves and not necessarily Jesus. This has also helped for those times when evaluating what I say or how I spend my time; even in my service to others. This question has been helpful to assess why I'm choosing to serve in a particular way (hello, to all my fellow people-pleasers out there!). Ultimately, what is my motivation.
3) Will this decision make me more Christ-like? This question may be the most important out of the three. We are told in Ephesians 2:10, Philippians 2:5-8 and 1 Peter 1:16 (these are just a few of many verses). We, as God's children, are to live our lives seeking to be more and more like Christ.
Asking these questions has helped me to take a step back, take a breath and pray about my goals, motivations and relationship with Christ before making a decision. Now, I'm not perfect at this and this is very much a learning process but I'm always thankful for the times when I do work through these questions.
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