3 Questions that have transformed my decision making

 While there is no formula for life; I've found there are things that can help along the way.  A few years ago our church's Mom's Night Out group worked through Beth Moore's book and study title The Quest.  In this study there were five questions from Scripture; posed by Jesus, that are examined.  It was one of the most transforming studies I've done in my life and to this day I still have those five questions posted on my mirror and often ask them of myself.  

Recently there are three more questions that I've added to my mirror.  The first is a question my husband often asks our kids when they are contemplating a decision.  The other two are from the most recent study we did in Mom's Night Out, titled Jesus Over Everything by Lisa Whittle.  

In my recent blog post titled When Stepping Forward Seems Like Moving Backwards I mentioned that my daughter had asked me about how to know when you're stepping out in faith versus running ahead of God.  My answer to her was "I'm still learning."  These three questions are a large part of that learning process and have been a great help. 

Questions to consider: 

1) What is your goal?  As I said, this is one that my husband often asks our kids and one that I have been asking myself more and more.  When I want to say something; what is my goal?  Is it to inform?  To clear up a misunderstanding?  To encourage?  To hurt as I've been hurt?  This question has helped me not only clarify what my goal is but also to evaluate if asking that question or having that conversation will actually move toward or accomplish that goal. 

There are some situations where you can have a right motivation, you can do things Biblically and people will still not respond right.  Some will choose to never try and understand who you truly are or what you are truly trying to say.  I'm a fixer and I also get frustrated when I'm misunderstood.  This question has helped me to realize when a conversation is just me trying to fix something that will never be fixed and to leave it in God's hands.  

This question has also challenged me to step out of my comfort zone to say or do something, knowing that it will help me to move toward or accomplish a goal. 

2) Is this a Jesus-first choice or a me-first choice? I've really appreciated this question as there are many good decisions you can make but some are decisions to advance ourselves and not necessarily Jesus.  This has also helped for those times when evaluating what I say or how I spend my time; even in my service to others.  This question has been helpful to assess why I'm choosing to serve in a particular way (hello, to all my fellow people-pleasers out there!).  Ultimately, what is my motivation. 

3) Will this decision make me more Christ-like? This question may be the most important out of the three.  We are told in Ephesians 2:10, Philippians 2:5-8 and 1 Peter 1:16 (these are just a few of many verses).  We, as God's children, are to live our lives seeking to be more and more like Christ.  

Asking these questions has helped me to take a step back, take a breath and pray about my goals, motivations and relationship with Christ before making a decision.  Now, I'm not perfect at this and this is very much a learning process but I'm always thankful for the times when I do work through these questions.  

Saturday Snapshots

 I don't do a lot of picture-heavy posts but I thought it would be fun to share some snapshots from our day.  When we moved into this house four years ago there was a lot of beautiful, mature landscaping.  Most of it we have kept but the longer we live here the more we realize that some of it has just gotten too big for where it was planted.  Today we did a lot of spring cleanup and started thinning out some of the landscaping to improve the flow & function of the different areas in our yard.   So, I thought I'd share some of the fun! 

Oldest girl thought the wagon with the branches and flowers was a pretty picture.

He was a huge help.  Was squishing the leaves, but made a funny picture too.

The fun tire swing that Matt hung for them.  Definitely the hit of the day.

They are ALL really great helpers.

Over grown holly bush torn out.

So much open space.

The roots & rock, before we dug them out.

More swing fun!!

A springtime use for the sled.

That opening is where the holly bush was.  

The stones are pulled out so we can put in steps from the 

patio to the side yard. 

Closer picture.  I love that you can see the fountain now from the side yard.

Once the stairs are in I'm planning to put a small table with

two chairs here.  Looking forward to a useable patio space.

Easter Recap

Easter is always a special time; we start on Good Friday with a special church service.  Each year the pastors and worship team put together a poignant service to remember the day Jesus was crucified. This year the theme verse for that service was John 12:24 "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit."  

On Easter we have a brunch at church and then, during the service, we have a baptism service.  This year there were two people baptized.  A beautiful picture of our new life in Christ; the fruit borne thru His death and resurrection.  

This year I had two of my kiddos "lament" the fact that we don't celebrate Easter with egg hunts and baskets.  We certainly do not have anything against these fun traditions but, having not grown up with them, celebrating that way has just not been on our radar, to speak.  So, I thought I'd share how we do celebrate (and yes, our kiddos got chocolate bunnies this year) 😊.

Each year the kids; especially the girls, get new dresses or new outfit to wear Easter Sunday.  I "torture" them twice a year for a nice picture (first day of school and on Easter).  Here is this year's:

It's nice that the magnolia tree in our yard blooms at Easter time.  

Another tradition we have is to make Easter story cookies.  I love that not only are these delicious but each ingredient has a tie-in illustration to the death and resurrection of Jesus.  The recipe I use is from Allrecipes. You can follow this link for the recipe and Scriptures.  Easter Story Cookies  

Another fun treat that we made this year were "empty tomb" rolls.  This is very simple and we made them with the nursery kids at church.  You simple buy cresent roll dough.  Wrap a marshmallow in each triangle and seal well.  As you do this you explain how that just as the marshmallow is white; Jesus was pure and innocent from sin.  Then he was wrapped in clothes (wrap the dough around the marshmallow), sealed in a tomb (seal all edges well; I roll them in my hand a bit to make sure).  After baked and cooled a bit have the kids open their "tombs".  The inside is hollow and the marshmallow gone.  Discuss how that the stone was rolled away to show that Jesus wasn't there.  Then as they eat their treat discuss how the rolls are sweet, and that the sweetest thing ever done for us was the death and resurrection of Jesus so that we could be forgiven of our sins and live with Him.  

One last thing that I've found to be helpful to explain Easter to the littles is the book titled God Gave Us Easter; we love the "God Gave Us" books and have found them to be a fun resource for explaining concepts and traditions in an easy, positive  way. 

What are your favorite traditions or treats?

Do you have books that have helped your kiddos understand Easter a bit better? 

The "Good"? side of social media

 As I've mentioned before, I shut down my Facebook account.  It has definitely been a positive thing.  While I believe that social media needs to be used with great discernment; I'm certainly not against all social media and am very thankful for the technology we have. For example,  I do still have an Instagram account and enjoy seeing the pictures and thoughts shared there.   Not only do I have Instagram but I use the YouVersion app all the time and appreciate that you can go through a plan with other people.  When you set up a group, YouVersion adds a page at the end of the plan where group members can share their thoughts and can have discussions.  

Over the past couple months there have been a couple Instagram posts that have caught my eye and the thoughts have stayed with me so I thought I would share.  The quote on faithlessness is a comment someone made in the YouVersion discussion in one of the current plan I'm reading with others.  

"Rest is a test of trust.  When you're tempted to overwork to control an outcome, trust God and REST."

~Amanda Pittman~ 

"There are two mindsets that you can live with.  "I wish others would do that for me."  "That's something I can do for others."  The first fosters resentment, the second fosters joy.

~Anneliese~ 

"If you ask, "Why is this happening?" no light may come, but if you ask, "How am I to glorify God now?" there will always be an answer."

~ J.J. Packer~ 

What are some social media "gems" that you have found?  

When stepping forward seems like moving backwards.

Focus.  That's my "word" for this year.  When I chose it in January I had an idea in mind of what that would mean.  Yet as so often happens I'm learning that God has other plans for focus.  

Last fall I made a very tough decision to step back from a level of ministry I was involved with; I'm still involved just not as deeply.  Many, many tears were shed over this decision.  After all, I was serving God, not only was I serving but I was serving in a way that I loved, in a place where I feel, and others have said, God has gifted me.  So why on earth would I step back?  

There are certain factors, which I will not share because the details aren't what's important here, that kept me from fully investing in that ministry.  Sometimes those would come up in conversations and I would feel that nudge of conviction that maybe this wasn't truly my place; but then I'd talk to others and they'd assure me that it was.  My husband was fine with it, others were fine with it, God was graciously using this ministry to grow my own faith and encourage others.  So again, why step back?  

...because what I thought was stepping out in faith was in fact me stepping ahead of God and "praying he'd catch up".  I recently had a conversation about this with my daughter.  She said, "mom, but how do you know which is which?".  My answer, "I'm still learning that."  See, I had been praying that God would remove the barriers, so that I wouldn't be limited in how I could minister.  I had prayed for years, continued to pray yet that prayer had not been answered.  At least not how I wanted.  So, I decided that I would continue to move forward, reasoning that if God really didn't want my involved as much He'd block the way.  I'm not really sure what I thought that would look like...and I'm so grateful that He was gracious and gentle...because looking back it could have caused issues...not only for me.  

This step felt so much like moving backwards.  I still have days where I question if I made the right decision.  I miss ministering in the way I was; however, God has graciously provided ways that I can still be involved without feeling like I am stepping ahead of Him.  So, what does this all have to do with focus?  Well, God is showing me that my focus needs to be trained on Him, even when it's hard, even when it's painful, even when I'm afraid that I'll never again have the opportunity to serve how I was serving, or afraid of what others might think.  He is showing me that, taking a step backwards, realigning myself towards Him, is actually moving forward.  It's a place to learn, to trust, to take a new look at how God wants me to serve Him.  His ways are not my ways.  I still pray that one day those barriers will be removed but I'm also learning that often barriers are there to keep us on the path He has for us; just like barriers often open up for an exit to a new road, that may happen later on this journey.  But for now I'm gonna pray that I can keep between the barriers and see what beauty, learning and opportunities lie on this road...right where I am.  

It's okay to say; this isn't where God would have me right now.

It's okay to say; I messed up and ran ahead.

It's okay to mourn the loss while also recognizing that God has greater things in store.

It's okay to say; I lost my focus, turn my eyes back to you, God. 

And finally, it's okay to say, I did nothing wrong, that was where God had me for a season but now He's moving me elsewhere.  

It's okay to step forward....even when it may feel like moving backwards.