Exhausted yet pursuing

 

"And Gideon came to the Jordan and crossed over, he and the 300 
men who were with him, exhausted yet pursuing." 
Judges 8:4

This past weekend I was able to attend a women's retreat.  Normally I go every year but 2020 being what it was there was no women's retreat.  I always look forward to the time to spend time with sisters in Christ and also to have some more focused time with God.  So often, these times away have been times when God has worked powerfully in my heart.  

As with so much, this year was different.  Not only was the retreat at a different location but it felt different.  The location was beautiful, quiet and was nice to have time for reflection and yes, God was definitely working;  but there was also a heaviness.  I was chatting with a friend and she described it perfectly; "There is so much pain.  Everyone I talk to is carrying so much pain"  We are all exhausted.  The last 18 months have taken its toll.  We are physically tired, we are emotionally tired, we are tired of the division, we are tired of wondering who we will lose next. Personally, I am tired of Jesus being used as a tool for people's agendas...political and otherwise.  Exhausted.

I had never noticed this phrase from the story of Gideon (Judges 6-8) until the speaker this weekend pointed it out.  Gideon didn't want to be chosen by God, Gideon listened to God's calling but didn't think he could do the task God was asking him to do.  Gideon put out a fleece twice, and twice God graciously agreed to the test and answered Gideon's request.  Then, God reduces the people  helping Gideon to a mere 300 men against an army of 120,000 Midianites.  Gideon and his men were exhausted; they requested help from two different camps and were denied by both.  Gideon was following the path he was given, he was doing what God had asked him to do yet he and his men were exhausted and without earthly help. Gideon stayed faithful to his mission and God gave Gideon and his men the victory.  

There's so much going on in our world; even when we know that we are pursuing the path God has for us it can be exhausting.  It is in these moments we are reminded that we are not to put our trust in others (Psalm 146:3) or in earthly methods and tools (Psalm 20:7) but ONLY in God for our salvation and strength (Psalm 46:1).  We can pour out our hearts to Him (Psalm 62:8) and cast our cares on Him (1 Peter 5:7).  May we be faithful to keep pursuing Jesus even when we are exhausted.  Just like Peter on the water we will sink in the storm if we take our eyes off Jesus (Matthew 18:22-33) but if we keep our eyes on Him we will walk on the waves.  May we never stop pursuing Jesus; even when we are exhausted.