Praying for the prodigals (and parents)

 The other day a friend said to me "[your kid] is such a good kid, you've done a great job with [them]."  I said thank you but a part of me cringed a bit.  When we have kids we think that's what we want to hear; it's encouraging and I know that that is exactly what my friend was doing; encouraging me, and I so appreciate that, we need that. But yeah, I did cringe a bit and I want to share why that type of encouragement is harder for me to hear lately. (this friend is awesome and super encouraging so this is not to disparage her comment in any way; it was just a reminder of some things I've had rolling around in my head for awhile). 

So much of parenting is trying to do the right thing.  We are told there are no formulas, but yet we still think if we just do x, y, z, then our kids will come out great; they'll stay on the straight and narrow.  There are Scriptures that encourage us to train up our children in the "discipline and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4) or the verse that so many quote, to "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6).  It's essential that we as parents are teaching and training our children in the ways of God; but is that a guarantee?  Is Proverbs 22:6 a principle or a promise?  We could debate those things but here's something that is crystal clear....our children are unique humans with their own free will; while there is much that we can control, ultimately there are decisions and choices they will make that we have no control over.  If we think anything different we head down the path of pride.

Let me say, that I have been guilty of this; of judging parents based on how their teens & young adult children choose to live...and yes, I've been humbled as my own kids move through the teen years.  Yes, we do as parents have influence on our kids and we should absolutely be striving to do our best to teach them, not only that they should follow Jesus but also why following Jesus is the best way.  But there is no formula.  We can pray, teach, discipline, surround our kids with others who love Jesus and they can still fall away.  And all too often when that happens we, even as believers, tut-tut our tongues and say "well, what did the parent's do wrong?".  We become prideful and think "if they only did this or that then their kid wouldn't have walked away".  Do you not think that the parents are asking themselves those same questions?  What could we have done? What did we miss?  It's so easy to say "wow, great job" when the kids meet our expectations of how they should act or think but when they don't "fall into line" we can immediately think "wow, what did you as a parent do wrong?"  As parents we constantly second guess if we're making the right decisions; we pray, seek to follow God's Word and do our best. 

The other aspect of this is that when we see the kids struggling with faith we often pull away; after all we don't want our kids being influenced by them.  What is wrong with that family? So what ends up happening is the family is further isolated and feels deeper shame, the struggling child is pushed away and no longer even tries to ask questions or engage in church, etc.  They feel the judgement too.  So, when you see a family, or anyone struggling or being a bit prickly why not lean in to build a closer relationship rather than stepping away?  Those parents need to hear that even when their children make wrong choices that the parents are still doing a great job when they pray, continue to teach and still reach out to others.  They need encouragement too!

As parents we need others to speak truth to our kids.  Especially for teens, they need to hear from people who aren't mom & dad.  They are trying to figure out who they are; and how their faith is theirs.  Some of us have raised our kids up in church, Christian homes, some in Christian school, some home schooled, some in public schools all raised with the Gospel.  These kids have made professions of faith and yet when they got older they walked away.  Some of us have kids right now that are struggling with their faith, figuring out what they believe, why the Bible is true.  As they get older and aren't really kids anymore it's natural to struggle with these questions; how are we as believers coming alongside them in this?  Are we?  Answers like, "it's just faith, you just have to believe" often aren't sufficient; are we teaching them apologetics; the logical reasons?  Why our faith is not a "blind" faith?  What evidences there are all around us that reveal God?  How we practically live out our faith? As our own kids move through the teen years it's been eye opening to see how their thinking changes; they need those deeper discussions and answers; and often they need to hear those answers from others...not just mom & dad. 

When my friend made that comment, what she didn't know is that the kid she was complimenting came to faith later in their childhood.  A lot of prayer and tears were said and shed for them and the hardest lesson I learned was that I had no control over whether they ever came to faith; what if I prayed the rest of my life and never saw that child accept Jesus?  We are told that "neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth." (1 Corinthians 3:6)  We are to be faithful to do our part but only God can change hearts.  I praise God that they did accept Jesus as Savior and one of the sweetest gifts ever was having that child allow me to read their testimony they had written out and seeing specific ways God answered my prayers and worked in their heart to bring them to Him.  God is "not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance." (2 Peter 3:9) but each of us has to make that personal decision; it's not one we as parents can ever make for our kids.  I remember hearing someone say "Adam and Eve had the perfect parent and they sinned and walked away"  We need to remember this and stop judging other parents so harshly, we need to pray for and with each other.  We need to pray that God will honor those prayers and that the "prodigal" children will listen to the Holy Spirit and turn back.

One final thought: If you are a parent of a "prodigal" child who accepted Jesus and has now walked away; know that Jesus has not let go.  Jesus says in John 10: 28-29 "I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.  My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand."  I'm praying for this generation and their parents.  That those who have walked away will turn back to God and He will do mighty things through them!  

Tuesday Tunes

 Yay, two weeks in a row.  Getting this up late but it's still Tuesday. What a beautiful day it was today.  The weather was a bit warmer here and the sunshine and blue skies were so pretty.  

 Today I want to share with you a beautiful medley that I recently heard.  After listening I'd encourage you to read through a few passages to reflect on the truths mentioned in this song: 

Genesis 1
John 1:1-18
Romans 1:1-20
Colossians 1:15-20
Philippians 2:1-11

"Do you want to be healed?"

 

I'm going to start this post with a bit of a disclaimer; I typically do not like Christian movies.  I find that most of them make a caricature of Jesus and the Bible and do not present Jesus as someone that people would be drawn to.  Having said that; I have enjoyed the series The Chosen.   

The above scene is from Season 2 and the full episode can be watched on Youtube.  The Scripture it follows is John 5:1-17, when Jesus heals a man at the pool of Bethesda.  Jesus first asks the man "Do you want to be healed? (vs 6).  We may see this as an odd question and think "of course he wants to be healed, who wants to be a cripple?"  but here's the thing; Jesus knows us, He knew this man.  We can become so stuck in the things that cripple us that they become our identity.  Our sins and limitations become how we define our lives; and we find a false sense of comfort in that. The familiar, no matter how messed up, can become comfortable because it is easier to stay stuck in what we know than to face what we never have before.  Did this man want to be healed?  It would change his life, he wouldn't be languishing by a pool all day and would have new responsibilities.  Jesus was also offering this man spiritual healing; He was "knocking" on this man's heart (Revelation 3:20) and was asking to be invited in; to enter into relationship with this man as his Savior and THAT healing would change everything!

I was so touched by this episode because it made me think.  Am I placing my trust in things that can never bring healing? Change? Hope?  Am I stuck defining myself by my own limitations and sinful habits rather than making the tough choice to truly let Jesus change me to follow His purposes for me?  All throughout His life Jesus kept teaching that the only thing that we need is to keep our focus on Him.  HE is all we need and HE is the only One who can bring true hope and healing.  

So, "Do you want to be healed?" If you haven't already, are you willing to open the door of your heart to Jesus and let Him heal all the broken parts of your life?  To be your Savior?  To bring hope to places where you are feeling hopeless?  I pray you will.  

Tuesday Tunes

I'm going to try something different for this month.  If you've read much of this blog then you've probably noticed that I love music.  In conversations I typically have a song pop into my head about whatever we might be discussing.  Music just speaks to my soul and I'm so thankful for the gift of music.  

One criticism that I often hear about newer Christian music is that it's mostly focused on what we get from God rather than on Who God is and worshipping Him.  I get that, it's great to share testimonies of how our lives have been impacted by God but it's also important to share Who this awesome God is and why He is so worthy of our praise, worship, honor and adoration.  So, as we enter into this month where we are focused more on Thanksgiving I want to share some songs focusing on Who God is to help focus our minds on why we should be so grateful for not only all He has done for us but grateful for Him.

Two Fall Favorites

Well, it hasn't felt much like fall around here, with temperatures in the 70's most days. I took this picture of our rose bush yesterday; lots of buds and flowers.    

Even with the warmer weather we've still been enjoying some of our favorite fall recipes. Since we have one kiddo allergic to anything apple, I have to make sure there's an option for her whenever I bake something apple; so these two recipes tend to get made on the same day.   I'm horrible at labeling blog posts so I may have shared these recipes before but here they are again.  

Pumpkin Pie Squares: 
(adapted from this recipe)

3/4 C all-purpose flour
3/4 C rolled oats
1/4 C packed brown sugar
1/2 C butter, softened
2 C pumpkin puree
1 (12oz) can evaporated milk
2 Eggs
1/2 C sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1/4 tsp ground cloves
1/2 C chopped nuts (walnuts or pecans)
1/3 C packed brown sugar
2 TB butter, softened
1/2 C oats

Preheat oven to 350F.  Spray or Grease a 9x13 pan.

Mix together the flour, oatmeal, brown sugar and butter. Press into pan, bake for 20 minutes or until golden brown.

In large bowl or blender, blend together pumpkin, evaporated milk, eggs, sugar, salt and spices.  Pour custard over baked crust; bake for 30 minutes or until firm.

While custard is baking, mix together the chopped nuts, brown sugar, butter and oats.  Sprinkle topping on custard and bake additional 15 minutes.  Cool and cut into squares.  To serve, top with whipped cream if desired.  

Straight from the Orchard Apple Cake:
(adapted from this recipe)

2 eggs
2 C sugar
1/2 C oil
1 tsp vanilla
2 C all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
4 cups apples, peeled and diced
1 C oats

Preheat oven to 350F. Grease 9x13 pan.  
Beat the eggs, gradually add sugar, oil and vanilla.  
Sift together the flour, salt, baking soda and spices then add to egg mixture; stirring well.
Stir in apples and oats.
Spread evenly into pan
Bake for 45 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.

A couple notes about this recipe.  First, the ingredient proportions will seem way off; like there's not enough batter for that amount of apples but there is.  Second, I recommend mixing this all by hand; it just seems to come out better for me when I do it by hand.  Lastly, the original recipe calls for a frosting but honestly, I think it would mess up the cake, it is already plenty sweet.  When baked this has a crusty top which is our favorite part, it gives a nice contrast to the soft, appley inside.  You can see a bit of what I mean about the topping in this picture, 

Fun & Frugal

 

Pictures taken at a reservation near our house

Good morning!  The pictures above are some I took last week on a walk near our house.  It was a bit cloudy so the colors don't show up well but it was such a pretty walk (and free entertainment & exercise)!

So today I wanted to do a quick post to share a couple tips.  With inflation rising and the cost of items going up and up; especially groceries!  I thought I would share a couple quick tips that we have found helpful to save some money.  Here are a "top 5" of how we save on groceries and clothing:

1) Buy & Freeze - Buying off the discount rack is a great way to stock up on items.  I always check discounted bagels & breads that are too pricey to buy normally.  I throw them in the freezer so they stay as fresh as possible.  Last week I was able to buy 5 loaves of cinnamon swirl french toast bread for $1.68 each!  I also check the dry goods discount rack and often find great deals on pasta and other items there. 

2) Rotisserie Chickens - I have found that these are cheaper than buying a raw whole chicken.  Even cheaper is to look for the cold chickens that didn't sell (at our store these are listed as "cold chicken parts")  I bring them home, debone/skin them, shred and place in quart freezer bags.  These are great for quick meals.  The price on the cold ones used to be just under $3/chicken but last week I noticed they had gone up a bit but still cheaper than buying any other way.  Another meat tip: It's almost always cheaper to buy and cut yourself.  We'll buy a large pork loin roast and cut it into smaller roasts or chops ourselves to save the difference in price. 

3) Make it homemade - If you have time, this is obviously one of the biggest ways to save money.  I make our regular sandwich bread each week.  Muffins, quick breads, etc are all quick easy snacks to make homemade.  I also make a large batch of granola every couple of weeks; since granola is so versatile you can tailor the ingredients to your budget.  

4) Learn to DIY - This is similar to #3 but making something or fixing something yourself is not only frugal but also very rewarding.  There are Youtube videos for pretty much anything you want to learn.  

5) Thrifting - I joke with my oldest daughter that we were into thrifting before it was cool. :D  Whenever my kids need clothes or I'm looking for something for the house the first place I like to check is Savers.  Savers is similar to a Goodwill but I've had better luck at Savers so that is my "go-to" place.  

Bonus: If you have the time and space consider planting a garden. It doesn't have to be big.  Some things that produce a lot in a small space are green beans, tomatoes and hot peppers.  

A few words on Peace

Double rainbow in South Dakota; taken on our 10yr anniversary trip

You slide into a comfy chair with your favorite book, all is quiet, your loved ones are in good places physically, spiritually and mentally and you feel that sense of peace.  But the thing is; it doesn't last long.  You hear your toddler yell "mama" from the other room, your teen comes and shares some tough stuff they are dealing with and you feel the tension rise again.  We all long for peace, yet it can seem so illusive; especially in the times we are living now.  See, lately I've been fighting for some peace.  I'm an introvert who loves routine and not much about our lives lately has been routine.  With two kids working, school schedules, a family member needing a medical procedure (that is looking like it might be delayed for a second time); it all just feels yucky and unsettled. 

I mentioned in my last post that I had gone away for a ladies retreat a few weeks ago.  One of the things God impressed on my heart was that I have been looking around a whole lot more than I have been looking up.  I love to read, I usually have at least two books at a time that I'm reading (as well as my daily Bible reading).  Reading is something that I have always loved.  Usually, my books are a nonfiction memoir and a Christian study book.  There are so many wonderful books, but here's the thing.  Many of those books are testimony books.  They share how God stepped into the life of the author and taught them a lesson.  The author is sharing about a time or mess that God brought them through.  These books are awesome and great to read; however, sometimes we need more.  In these testimonies we are still looking around; around at how God has worked in lives and while we can learn a lot from that, the authority and focus we truly need can only be found by studying Scripture.  I'm always thankful when I find out one of these books come with a study guide that digs into the Scripture; that is where true transformation, growth and peace is found.  

This year in our Mom's Night Out group at church we are reading through the book Jesus Over Everything by Lisa Whittle.  I read this book last summer on my own and it was powerful.  This time I decided to go a bit further since I had already read the book and grabbed the study guide as well (this goes with a DVD series but I'm just using it a bit different without the DVD's).  At the end of each day she has you read a passage of Scripture and dig deeper by looking up a key word in a concordance to learn more about what the passage is saying. (I'm going to digress a bit here to say that my favorite Bible study tool is actually a Lexicon.  I love that you can look at the original Greek and see what the word means there; it often gives a much fuller understanding and that is just what happened the other day.)

One of the passages that Lisa had us look at was Philippians 4:4-9 and in particular the word peace.  In the Greek, the word used for peace in this passage is εἰρήνη (eirēnē); the meanings listed are: "one, peace, quietness, rest".  The definition "one" caught my attention; further down in the definition it fleshes this out a bit more as meaning, "wholeness, when all essential parts are joined together".  You see, we can only have true peace when we are one with Christ, He is the essential part we need to be joined to, in order to be truly whole.  Our focus should be on striving for oneness with Christ no matter what the circumstance.  When we focus on Christ and put Him as our priority (as Lisa says "Jesus Over Everything") then we find peace that will last.  We look up rather than around.  Another verse that uses this same Greek word for peace is Romans 15:13 and it is my prayer for you today "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace [rest, quietness, wholeness] in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope."