The subject of public schooling has been on my mind for awhile. I often get so disheartened when I see Christians blasting other Christians as bad parents who don't really care about their children's faith, simply because their kids go to a public school. I also see a lot of fear mongering and just plain false information posted. For example, before we sent our kids to public school I was told that they would never hear the national anthem, say the pledge or learn anything about religion. These are all false! Not only do they say the pledge and hear the anthem daily, they also have entire units dedicated to learning about world religions. Does public schooling bring certain challenges, yes! But I want to give encouragement that God does lead some Christian families to public school their children, and in that choice there are also many, many blessings.
Our kids did not always attend public school. For several years they all attended a local private school. However, over a couple of years God made it very clear that it was His plan for our kids to move to the local public schools. I want to share a few things I've learned and some encouragement for others who God has lead to this path.
10 lessons I've learned from being a public schooling mama:
1) God is doing amazing things! - Students are hungry for faith. They are asking questions of other students. Believing students are sharing their faith; and through this God is bringing kids to faith in Him. My kids are so excited to see other believers at school! My daughter recently had a birthday party, she invited 8 friends from both church and school...all the girls knew each other as some attend our church and her school and some only the school. These connections are so important and encouraging. There are SO many things God has done over these years. Many are not my story to tell here but if you see me in person I'd love to share some of them.
2) We are called to be salt and light. If there are dark places we are called to shine God's love and truth into those dark places. We cannot shine into those places if we are all huddled in one corner.
3) Get involved! - A couple years ago I took one of our daughters to a school event; as I stood there watching her run around with her friends I realized that I didn't know anyone. It was a very humbling moment. I decided to get involved with the PTO; it has been such a blessing (and a huge step out of my comfort zone) to meet the kids, teachers, admins and other parents. I love volunteering, interacting with the kids and getting to know those that work in the school.
4) Don't compare! - This is a hard one for me because as mamas we are always wondering if we're doing enough, making the right choices. Over the years I have had doubts if we made the right choice, I'm thankful for my husband who reminds me how clearly God made it that this was His desire for our kids; and to not look back with "rose-tinted" glasses. When I start to compare (in many areas) my husband always says "This is what works best for our family; who cares what other people think."
5) God is always in control! - We are not called to live in fear! Do we want to protect our kids? Absolutely! But if our motivation is to only protect our kids we have failed them. We are called to be in the world but not of the world. The truth is we can't protect them from everything; and often God uses the hard things to help them grow in their faith...so it can actually be a disservice to try and keep them from ever facing hard things.
6) Prayer is key! - I remember when I first had my kids; I prayed that they would feel comfortable talking to me about anything. There have been times that I would jokingly say to my husband "what did I ask for?" of course I didn't mean it; but it's hard to hear your kid's struggles when you can't just "fix" it for them. God has shown me over and over again how prayer is key. I recently saw a saying "I can't...but I know a Guy". I love this! There's SO much I can't do or know, but I can always take it to the One who does know, who can do abundantly more than I could ever ask or think.
7) Communication is key! - This is both with your kids and with the school. We have always encouraged our kids to talk with us about anything, to question things but always be respectful when doing so, and to advocate for themselves. If they have a school issue, we encourage them to go to their teacher or guidance counselor. If we need to step in, we will. There have only been a couple of times when I've had to communicate with administration and both times they were very quick to resolve the situation and we still have a very positive rapport with them. Also, learn to embrace discussing things that, at first, might be uncomfortable. God's Word does not shy away from teaching about hard things and neither should we.
8) Salvation is by grace not their works or yours! - No schooling choice is a guarantee of strong Christian children neither does a schooling choice doom them to a faithless life. As parents we pray, we disciple, we try and do our best to raise our kids in the Truth; but they are humans and have free-will. I have seen kids from every schooling choice walk away from God and I have seen kids from every schooling choice dig deep in their faith and do amazing things for God. This does NOT mean we don't do our best to raise them in God's Truth but we must not give into a prideful attitude thinking it's all up to us; or our way of schooling is the only "right" way.
9) God does not stop at the school doors! - This is something I remind my kids all the time. God is always with them. Prayer is always available. The Holy Spirit in them is always with them! I have a friend who says "when our kids become believers they don't get a "junior" Holy Spirit; they receive the full power of the Holy Spirit". Now, yes, there is a difference in their human maturity but the Holy Spirit is not limited by that.
10) Knowledge can lead to greater confidence in God and greater compassion for others. - It is important for our kids to know what the world believes. Truth is stronger than lies because God is greater than the devil. One of our kids came home and was frustrated about a lesson on evolution and how it was being taught as fact. One of our high school kids came home frustrated about a lesson on abortion and how it didn't cover a lot of facts about the risks of abortion. In both cases we sat down and discussed how that just because someone says something, you don't have to agree or believe it. BUT, it's so important to know the thinking behind these issues because you can have more productive discussions about issues. To know what the arguments are and to dig into why we believe differently, why God instructs us to live certain ways can strengthen our own faith and help us to not be so reactionary and combative. It can lead us to reach out in compassion, with greater understanding. We tend to fear the unknown, things that are different or that we don't fully understand, knowledge helps battle these tendencies. Instead of seeing people as "others" we can, instead, see them as those that God loves and wants to come to repentance and belief.
BONUS: Don't be afraid to change direction if God so directs. We have always tried to have an attitude of "this is where God has us now". No one knows the future, we certainly never planned to public school our kids when we were first having kids; but this is where God has lead. God may change that path again, we take it one year at a time.
One final thought. The other day I was having a discussion with one of our kids about why people voted certain ways. As I was explaining different issues and the views on both sides of those issues, suddenly, my kiddo said "oh, so people really are just looking for someone to give them hope." Yes, exactly! Our world is so hungry for hope. Let's be sure to be out there living in the world but showing them that we are not of the world. Not living our lives in fear of those different than us or being afraid that God's Truth isn't strong enough to battle the devil's lies. We have a hope and peace that they too can have.
If you are following God's path for your family...then you are doing awesome Mama! Keep praying, keep trusting and when you see those posts disparaging us for public schooling our kids...pray for the one who posted it, and then go hug your kiddos and give a high five to their friends!
