Disclaimer: This post is NOT to whine, be rude or guilt trip anyone. A year or so ago, as I was writing a check for an activity that a few of our kids were attending, a friend commented, "wow, that's a lot. I only have one kid" and more recently another friend sent me an Instagram Reel of a woman acting out the reactions/comments people give when you have kids...from 1 to 6 kids. The Reel was funny and reminded me that I'd had this post bouncing around in my brain for awhile. As a mom of 6, I have realized that there are things that are the same as those with less kids but also things that are very different. So, I thought I'd share some of the real-life things we've encountered over the years. Full disclosure: there was a family that we did not invite to our wedding because they had 8 kids and we were mostly paying for the wedding ourselves...I get where I was in life then but I also cringe a bit because I know how much a nice, paid for meal could have meant for that mama...so, with the risk of being completely misunderstood (but hey, it's my blog LOL), here goes....
The Comments:
- Yes, we know "how that happens" or "what causes kids"
- Yes, we notice when we walk into a restaurant/other venue and notice you quickly count the
kids and sigh because you think those kids will definitely misbehave. (side note: we probably
spend more time than the average teaching our kids to be aware of their surroundings and
not be wild in public.)
- Yes, they are all ours -- same mom and dad
- No, we are not "the Brady Bunch"
- Yes, I've been told by a complete stranger "you should probably stop after this one.
But I suppose it's good to have them when you're young" (I was pregnant with #4 at 29 yrs old)
- Yes, I've been told by a family member "are you out of your tree??!!" when announcing
that I was pregnant (Again with #4).
- Yes, I've comforted one of my daughters when she excitedly called a family member to tell them
that I was pregnant again and the family member just laughed at her and my hurt daughter couldn't
understand why they laughed and weren't excited. (side note: after this we made sure to be in a
public space when telling this family member so they would temper their reactions)
- Yes, we have our hands full, but our home and hearts are also SO full.
- We get very excited when someone finds out we have 6 kiddos and responds with "oh, cool!
I'm one of 6/7/8, etc...you don't hear about large families a lot these days"
- No, we are not Catholic...Yes, we do believe in birth control.
The Life:
- There is always someone to play with, chat with, etc.
- You learn to just let things go. Nothing will ever be perfect; you learn to embrace some chaos.
- Parents of many kids are not some special variety, we question decisions, we doubt,
we pray...A LOT!
- We talk a lot around other adults because we get excited to have other adults to talk with!
- We get really good at stretching expensive ingredients (i.e. meat)...repeat after me...
"soup is your friend"
- You can relate to pretty much all your parent friends because you most likely
have a kid in the same stage. Preschool - check; Elementary School - Check;
Middle School - Check; High School - Check
- When going through a difficult stage with a child; it's best to NOT focus
on the fact that you will have to go through this stage X more times.
- Holidays are AWESOME! You appreciate the importance of family! I recently had
one of my older kids say "mom, it's gonna be so awesome and BIG when,
someday, we all have holidays together with all our families. Since there's six
of us and you & dad we could have a whole week where we go to each other's
houses!" I pray she never loses that love of family!
The "Ugly":
- We are often lonely in this place. (see "the life" regarding adult conversation)
- We rarely get invited to other people's houses. I get it, we're a lot.
- When you write that check for your one kid...multiply that amount...yep, it's expensive.
God has richly blessed us and we are fortunate to be able to make our money "work"
for us...yay CC points! But it still, often takes some creative budgeting.
- There will rarely be a time when everyone is "okay"...praise God for His strength
and faithfulness that sustains us.
We are blessed to have a wonderful family and church who support us, love us, and
pour into our kiddos. While much of what I wrote is the same for smaller
families; there are unique challenges and blessings to having a "larger than
normal" family. Yes, we chose this life and are grateful for it but it doesn't
mean that there aren't challenges unique to this life. My prayer is that by sharing
a bit of insight you will better be able to minister to and understand the
larger families in your circle. Yes, each family is unique....but hey
after all, it is my blog. 😀
